Sorry for my English!!

The whole episode seems to be John's attempt not to become completely "sherlocked" again - and the attempt of Sherlock to apologize and to "involve" John to his life again. 

JOHN is the one who died during these 2 years without Sherlock: not Sherlock, but John. His words on the tomb were his love confession to Sherlock. John died. But he could return to life. Mary saved him. And... Sherlock is not his pressure point anymore.
Completely backwards with Sherlock. Only now he understands, what John means for him. And he is trying to get the excuse: he tries to speak to John pretending their death in some minutes, tries to involve him is his life again, sacrifizing his life and freedom for him... 
But John is not prepared for this yet. He is too shocked to understand, that his "reburth" to "normal life" is only an illusion. He is afraid to feel pain again (and we remember, HOW he feels the pain: he is afraid to "die" again).
Even more: he understands that Sherlock has changed. He heard, that he is Sherlock's ONLY pressure point. He understands, that Sherlock sacrifised his life for him. But he is not prepared to give this back to Sherlock. Not again. (we must not also forget about the child and Mary - she is not only his wife but the person who saved him!)
And Sherlock understands this. He can say a lot to John near the plane, but he doesn't do this. Because... "what the hell will John answer to this?!" And the handshake was his gift for John. Is was a simple friend's handshake, saying: "I don't need anything from you, John, because I understand, that you cannot give me anything now. And I accept the distance that you need between us now". That's why John looks at his hand for so a long time, like on the gift he cannot accept..
That's it...
So, John thinks, his game is over, but we know, that is only the beginning of their story. John IS sherlocked - he needs Sherlock more than he wants and more than he can accept. Now he has to accept h

omegasazalfa wrote:

kazza474 wrote:

beekeeper wrote:

I don't think Moftiss will have made a mistake regarding Sherlock not being John's. I think that is a huge deal. I think it shows how much things have moved on for John. And that bit at the end where he goes off...getting married and having a baby changes you. There is no way on this earth that any half decent father or mother would put their relationship with Sherlock above their kid. One thing I think Mofatt stands out for writing realistically and well is parental emotions.

 She's only pregnant at this stage, do you really think there will be a baby?

I agree, Sherlock's not a pressure point for John, at least not any longer, and he can never have priority as opposed to the mother of John's child. That's why their good bye scene was so sad for me. It becomes plain as day in this episode that Sherlock is actually in love (though, the hints were there in the last episodes). But when faced with it, John can't return it, at least not with a pregnant wife on his side.
That's why John is so distant, sighs when having to remain in private with him at the extremely embarrassing good bye scene, can hardly look Sherlock in the eye. He is visibly relieved when instead of Sherlock's apparent love confession he hears only a joke with baby names. Because what could he say to that? I agree he's not good at expressing tender emotions but I've felt more an embarrassement of maybe guilt and inertia in this case. And Sherlock understands it, doesn't press it, just steps aside to let the "happy family live", even if heart-broken.

During the 2. season John seemed more obsessed with Sherlock than the other way round, but maybe he "greived out his feelings" for 2 years and went on. He's had several opportunities (and now also reasons) to dismiss Mary since Sherlock's return but he's never opted to, not even to postpone the wedding, made Mary pregnant instead. Though he still cares and misses Sherlock as a ve

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