I don't think the Mary he fell in love with is a fiction. I think the warm, funny and caring Mary that he got to know and fell in love with is just as valid and real as the cold and calculating assassin part of her. She would be less interesting if she was that one-dimensional. 

I feel that the "problems of the past"line has to do with him not judging her og nosing into her old affairs, but that he demands of her to let him in on any new affairs that would pop up.

I really don't think Sherlock would leave John with Mary, if he thought he was in any danger from her.

I think, at some point-- John has to accept responsibility for his choice to stay with Mary. Sherlock, at this stage in the game, can't really force John to leave her, if he doesn't want to... (as much as I hate it!) 
This is John's baby, now. (Pun intended.) 

Liberty wrote:

If it's taken at face value (assuming it isn't part of a plot by John and Sherlock, etc., etc.) it really does mean that John feels it's not his business.  I think he knows it might be hard to accept, and that may be why he destroys the memory stick.  Possibly, he has decided he wants to stay with her and doesn't want to make that any more difficult for himself by giving himself extra difficult information to come to terms with.  But "not my business" is recognition of the fact that things she did before they met weren't to do with him (whereas deceiving him was - that's what he forgives, I think.  I know she shot Sherlock too, but that's not really what John gets angry about at 221B - it's not what he takes personally).

But yes, the "problems of the future" definitely suggest that he knows it's not over for her.  It's a red flag that it's not going to be OK from now on, and John suspects that.  Something is going to happen involving Mary, one way or another.  "My privilege" is very forgiving, though.  It seems to mean that he feels lucky to be the one with her, helping her deal with those future problems.   I can definitely see why some people see it as romantic (the only reason I can't quite get there myself is because I feel Mary is still a bit of a mystery to me, even if she isn't to John, and because S4 is such an unknown.   Maybe it will feel more romantic in retrospect). 

I think my gut feeling is that this is genuine on his part.  (I can see a little bit of a parallel with John's attitude to Sherlock after the fall - where it's the personal aspect that really bothers John, his fury at the deception and the pain it caused him, and his forgiveness of that later)

I agree-- reluctantly-- but, I do agree. And, I gotta say, it makes me--a bit salty with John. I find myself having a tough time with this. 

But we can't help who we love and if we truly love, we stand by them to the bitter end.

besleybean wrote:

But we can't help who we love and if we truly love, we stand by them to the bitter end.

He doesn´t even know her name.

So again, if your husband would have been a killer in his past....  it would be okay for you?

Especially if he would tell me: Don't look at this stick, you won't love me anymore.
Highly suspicious for me. I couldn't sleep anymore.

besleybean wrote:

I think people are allowed to redeem themselves and maybe John thinks this, too.

The thing is we need to be shown Mary being redeemed.  So far she has done nothing to deserve redemption.

nakahara wrote:

Mattlocked wrote:

@nakahara "If the damage was not done to him personally, by lying or otherwise, then lions can eat his friends for all he cares." I don't like what I read, but maybe you are right.
Or.... sarcasm?

No, merely an agreement with Liberty and Lola, that HLV John doesn´t see to be concerned about Mary shooting Sherlock at all. He is disturbed he is being lied to, yes, but doesn´t care Sherlock was shot, nearly died and is in horrible pain after both injury and surgery that followed.... His "you won´t need morphine" speech was a good indicator of that.

This made it really hard for me to take his "concern about Sherlock doing drugs" in TAB seriously....

 
Hm... yes. Sad but true.
I mean, he was really angry, and he was concerned when Sherlock nearly broke down in the flat.
But then there really was never a question after the hiatus like "where have you been?" "what did you do?" or only "why?", was there?

But I'm off topic here, as this is not about John and Sherlock. 

Not at all.
But I can understand that John wants to think the best of Mary.