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This Is The Phantom Lady wrote:
I just need to moan a bit (again...)
I had a meeting at the job center today with a really nice man (he was quite impressed I showed up despite fever and bronchitis) but he wanted to know my plans for the future... he knows I want to become a 'real' medical secretary (as opposed to the education I have already as a healthcare service secretary) and we're both trying to find a way to make that happen... he also asked me what plan B was... and I said I had to stick to secretary work because of my spine and hips.
Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being a secretary, I really enjoy it, and I'm good at it!
But the problem is... I have a pretty bright brain, and I've always wanted to study linguistics. Ever since I was a little girl words, especially English words and their evolution have interested me, how it's spelled different in other dialects or continents... and how different ways to speak a word can have a massive effect.
But because High school/college was hell for me with all my issues I ended up with a very low grade average.
I was suffering a lot with my PTSD, I suffered from stress and it was pretty much a 3 year long mental break down for me. I wasn't sleeping, I was barely clinging to life...
And now, I can't get into any university because my grades are too low. Some years back I called a university to ask if I could get in any other way, and was pretty much laughed at when I mentioned my grade average.
My other degrees (secretary and fast track business) I finished with top marks.
I HATE this damn system having to rate people on grades they got when they were 18.
I don't know what's the system in Denmark like, but as long as you have a general access to university (in Germany, for example, it is reached by passing your "Abitur"), the grades don't play such an important role. You have the right to attend university with a certain school exam. Can you tell me more?
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@ Phantom: I don't know about your system, but in Germany we have still universities you can easily get in. Mostly you would need A-levels with certain grades, but in some subjects and at some universities with lower demand you can still get in because they accept just the A-Levels no matter the grades as entry qualification. The same might be true for some evening courses or distance learning. Sometimes you can skip the entry grades if you have already some qualification and maybe can enter second year where entry isn't restricted.
Also, you could try to get in with help from professionals, if you can show good reasons. University looks like it's got a very strict entry system, but from experience I can say that there is room for negotiation. Of course it means collecting papers, speaking to the right people, and also a bit of luck, but it can work. It might take effort though, and you might need a long breath and strong nerves, because many people don't understand how illness affects our possibilities. But some do, and that's the ones you have to turn to :-) This is just my experience and I can't say if it would work in your country. But don't let any apparent impossibilities let you bury your dream - that's the most imporant thing. If you want it, you'll find a way :-)
also, about travelling alone... I used to do it a few times, and people told me all the time how "brave" I was. I think what they really wanted to say was: wow, you're doing something I don't dare to do. Because they haven't done it, they imagined it to be really scary. But it wasn't, and I simply loved it! I found it even easier because people were always very willing to help me out (seeing me being on my own), I've had more friendly encounters than when travelling in a group, and the feeling of just doing what I wanted whenever I wanted was a big plus! Please don't worry and try to enjoy it :-) :-) what I found helpful though was having a to-do-list to structure my free time and to prevent boredom. Although in London, to experience boredom is a challenge :-)
Last edited by Whisky (July 24, 2015 9:01 pm)
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I'M BLACK AND BLUE AND I HURT ALL OVER.
/end rant/
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Hope very much that you'll feel better soon, dear. Do you have painkillers that are strong enough? And I hope for your sake that you haven't already rushed to work again?
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Aww tonnaree Hope it will be better soon. Hope you have some comfy cushions to rest your body!
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*sigh* I did go to work Friday and I regreted it. However there is something huge going on at work and I really need to be there. :-( I am hoping the weekend will help. I do have some pain meds. They don't make it go away completely but they do help.
And I mean it when I say black and blue...............and purple and red and yellow. You should see the colors my body has produced!
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tonnaree, that really sounds very painful. Can you sleep at night?
And too bad you had to be at work yesterday... that's what I call really bad timing.
Hopefully the weekend will do some magic and you'll be feeling better real soon.
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The drugs help me sleep, but I can only sleep for short periods at a time because I get uncomfortable in one position and have to adjust.
Add to all this the pain in the arse of having to find another car that we can afford and having to go after the other driver for my medical bills..........................It's most unpleasant.
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@tonnaree I so hope you will feel better soon and have no lasting damage!
Keep up the meds, and speaking from experience, make sure you take them on time!
take good care of yourself!
......
About education... I don't know if it changed again here... but here there's 'quotas'... the first is filled with people who have the right grades and other people have a chance, if they have the right educations etc. But speaking with those people I could understand my grades were even too low for that. GRR.
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AO3 is down!
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Not for me. Try again.
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Yeah, it came up a few minutes after I posted, but it was down for a little while tonight.
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Christ I am SO bored.
And, well, not sure how to put it, really, but I feel like nothing holds a real interest. I've been crying all day yesterday -for no apparent reason...- and today was just...going through the motion. Not even my cat can really offer comfort. Tea's not doing it, either.
Something needs to happen so I can feel again. I've been like that for about a month, now, this nonsense needs to stop.
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AO3 was down this morning, Server errors or something... it's always a mini heart attack when that happens as I want to check the status of my fic.
Lily, I really hope you feel better soon! ugh. *Sends you hugs*
I'm a little angry with my back and my hips... my pains had been okay for a while now since I got stronger pain meds and took care to not overwork it...
I've been hurting since last weekend, I insisted on helping my mum carrying bags of dirt... Grr. It was slowly getting to be okay and last night I just couldn't stand looking at my broken drawer (it's been broken for almost a year now) and well, I ended up spending last night on the floor in all sorts of weird positions. No wonder I've been a cripple today.
I really, really hope I can get it back unde control before leaving for London on Monday night.
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I'm a bit sick of happy couples. Sorry happy couples.
@Lilythiell, I know that feeling so well…
Hope you'll feel better soon!!
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@ Lilythiell: Hope you're getting well, soon! Maybe kind of a summer depression (which definately exists!)
@ Whisky: Oh, why? Did some people go over the top?
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Whisky I know that feeling... both when I was single and now too... since my boyfriend and I are in a LDR. Seeing couples hold hands is a pet peeve of mine... I know it's the green eyed monster also known as jealousy in my case.
OOOOW! My back hurts exceptionally much today. My hip is sore and for some reason the left side of my ribcage hurts too.
GRR.
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Let's hope a few days' rest (absolute rest, I mean, not helping people to carry things, or walking around, doing shopping or whatever. Have someone do so of it for you, it'll be plenty enough) will help so you're fit enough to go to London and see HIM!
Thank you all for your support. It's hard to get (and stay) up. Still hoping I can sleep my life (summer) away.
At least I'm doing things -sampling tea and writing reviews on the forum, since apparently, I can't be a*sed to write on that stupid fanfiction. Or do anything in the house.
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Sending best wishes and some vibes of positive energy your way, Lily.
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Bleeding hell I don't know what's worse -being on an extremely low...low or being on a high for no reason at all...
Emotions. Can't I keep them in check? Christ!
I'm aware that'll pass, it always does (until it doesn't...no, best not to think like that) but...ugh. Possibly I need to get back to talking and working on things with someone...