I think it is no coincidence at all that there are several people, enough to write them down on a piece of paper, who hate the bride. 

I think that was only meant as a joke for the audience. It's the same as the scene with Sherlock and Mary's ex in the same episode. It's played for laughs, and it works in the show, but Sherlock's behaviour in that scene is really, really creepy. 

So I personally don't put too much meaning into either of those scenes, I see them as jokes for the audience more than anything else.

I personally have problems with jokes about hate.

gently69 wrote:

I personally have problems with jokes about hate.

But you don't have a problem with jokes concerning stalkerish, threatening and controlling behaviour?

When I think back at my wedding, it could be possible that there have been people who don't like me or hubby, or maybe don't care at all - but hate? I don't think so.

Wow! I am really glad that there weren't those major problems at the weddings I attended, my own wedding and five others. Well, of at least four weddings, including mine, I know that they hadn't big troubles with their guests.

Especially if combined with the fact that people like Mike Stamford and John's own sister do not attend the wedding. 

I think we need to be careful about not mixing levels of interpretation. One the one hand, we are discussing a character from the show and the way she is portrayed. On the other hand, we are talking about limits of production.

To me, in reality it sounds very likely that the actor of Mike has not been available. But inside the fiction, I need another explanation for Mike's absence. One expalation could be that he didn't have time to attend the wedding or was sick. One explanation could be that he too hated the bride.

SolarSystem wrote:

Right, there almost always is more than just one possible interpretation. And everyone has to decide for himself/herself which one appears to be the most likely one.
Coming back to that list with people who hate Mary, of course what the writers are trying to tell us could be that
- those people on the list are all idiots who simply don't see that Mary is the most lovable person in the world and they are ignorant morons
- those people on the list can think about her whatever they like, and since neither Mary nor John nor Sherlock seem to care, neither should the viewers
- those people on the list hate her for particular reasons and we should at least keep this in mind

And I'm sure there's lots more you could read into it.
 

Here I would go for option two. There will always be someone who dislike you, that's how it is. I think it was just exaggerated to "hate" for the sake of humor, because - as others have mentioned - it can be a common problem in weddings that some people don't like the bride/groom or others, so there might be some diplomatics involved.
 

gently69 wrote:

Still have a problem with the term "hate" connected to humour. But that's only my problem as it seems.

And I have more trouble with controlling and threatening behaviour being connected to humour, although I can see why it works. We all have our own things, I guess.