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August 3, 2014 4:48 am  #1401


Re: Free Rants

Thank god, it passed... sorry to freak out like that! 


earlier tonight, or last night I think... it's half 6 right now... still haven't slept... I requested my first pay out from that online service. I actually ended up crying and felt sick when I pressed the send button. I need the money... my aunt borrowed me money so I have more than £10 pounds to buy boring things like food and Hamlet tickets here in August... but honestly. I didn't need all those things I did all of those nights...

I just have a feeling that when (if) I do get to hold the ticket for Hamlet in my hand it won't even feel good... it is going to taint the entire experience... Why was I so stupid??

I've been trying to write a blog tonight, hoping it would help me along the way... I think I'm going to treat it like a diary on my road out of this... I am building myself up to actually stop this.

(even as I'm typing this, I am 'performing'... pathetic) 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Don't talk out loud, you lower the IQ of the whole street!"

"Oh Watson. Nothing made me... I made me"
"Luuuuurve Ginger Nuts"

Tumblr[/url] I [url=http://archiveofourown.org/users/This_is_The_Phantom_Lady/pseuds/This_is_The_Phantom_Lady]AO3
#IbelieveInSeries5
 

August 3, 2014 3:13 pm  #1402


Re: Free Rants

Gosh, Phantom, sounds like a rough time you have...
For your back, I'm relieved when you will finally have some serious diagnostic research and your silly doctors will get a proper diagnosis and not just fail to try to cure symptoms!
As for the other problem I agree with Susi: get outside help now! You will find someone you can trust, I'm sure, and there is obligatory professional discretion to be considered.


------------------------------------------------------------

Eventually everyone will support Johnlock.


"If you're not reading the subtext then hell mend you"  -  Steven Moffat
"Love conquers all" Benedict Cumberbatch on Sherlock's and John's relationship
"This is a show about a detective, his best friend, his wife, their baby and their dog" - Nobody. Ever.

 

August 5, 2014 8:53 pm  #1403


Re: Free Rants

I had a confrontation with the man yesterday...I tried to ignore him completely but eventually he made me respond. I tried to keep my distance and not fall into his trap... He ended up getting me to blow up though... saying I was "Obviously in a mood"... I was just so angry at him... I think my anger is a good thing though; it kept me from falling for his usual tricks. 

I tried to tell him why I was in a 'mood'; that it might have something to do with not sleeping at all during the weekend doing the things he is making me do, how degrading it felt to me... I threw in a comment about the fact that I was doing those things for him. He told me it was never for him; he was doing it for me... because I needed it. GRR he obviously gets off on it. I'd rather not be able to afford to eat and living off of trash than doing what I've done... well. What I still do. I best not lie to myself. 

He tried his usual ways of getting me to fall for him and forget what I was going to say... I turned down his advances and told him I wasn't 'in the mood'... Pun very much intended. Idiot. This obviously pissed him off and lo and behold he suddenly had to run to do some work. As if. 

The thing is... I fear the consequences. I'm having flu like symptoms and I fear I will become weak again and then what... what can he have me do next. The words he said when we had only known each other for a while still rings through me. "You have no idea how far I can take you"... even more so my reply which makes me gag now. "I want to go all the way"... How stupid was I?

During our argument... if you call it that; it was me desperately trying to stand up for myself... I even told him to leave me if I was such a bother to him. I was really, really hoping he would. He told me he wasn't going to leave me alone, he was never going to leave... *shivers*. 

Funny thing is... now I finally know his name. Only now. At least I can refer to him as something other than 'Master'. The spell is slowly breaking and I hope I can come up for air soon

Last edited by This Is The Phantom Lady (August 5, 2014 9:17 pm)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Don't talk out loud, you lower the IQ of the whole street!"

"Oh Watson. Nothing made me... I made me"
"Luuuuurve Ginger Nuts"

Tumblr[/url] I [url=http://archiveofourown.org/users/This_is_The_Phantom_Lady/pseuds/This_is_The_Phantom_Lady]AO3
#IbelieveInSeries5
 

August 6, 2014 7:33 pm  #1404


Re: Free Rants

That sounds already much better, Phantom, am proud of you!! Be a strong lady! Standing up for yourself will not let you down in the end. And get well soon from your flu.


------------------------------------------------------------

Eventually everyone will support Johnlock.


"If you're not reading the subtext then hell mend you"  -  Steven Moffat
"Love conquers all" Benedict Cumberbatch on Sherlock's and John's relationship
"This is a show about a detective, his best friend, his wife, their baby and their dog" - Nobody. Ever.

 

August 11, 2014 9:28 pm  #1405


Re: Free Rants

I've just have to write that down once because it makes me really sad...
A 'friend' I write with on an internet platform and have done so 5 years long and I planned to go to London together to watch Hamlet and as I do not have a credit card or anything like it she agreed to try to get the tickets. We both agreed on it and everything was clear and we've talked a lot about it.
I've sent her a reminder last night and guess the answer: Oh, I'm terribly sorry, but a friend of mine managed to get tickets for the two of us earlier so I did not have to try it today.
Well, good luck for her, but she did not think one minute to tell me that in advance so that I had the smallest of changes to find someone else to try to get a ticket, so now she's all happy going to London, will be seeing my favourite actor in my favourite play even if she isn't that into Benedict as I am and I've got no chance, just because I was stupid enough to trust her on this.
 


------------------------------------------------------------
"Love something, and love it deeply."
Andrew Scott

"I don’t care how hypothetical it is, I’m not flying with a live otter in the flight deck."
Captain Martin Crieff
 

August 11, 2014 9:39 pm  #1406


Re: Free Rants

This is terrible, JN! Being let down like this by a person you put your trust on. But there's still hope for you to get a ticket. Fingers crossed!


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
John: "Have you spoken to Mycroft, Molly, uh, anyone?"
Mrs Hudson: "They don’t matter. You do."


I BELIEVE IN SERIES 5!




                                                                                                                  
 

August 12, 2014 7:26 am  #1407


Re: Free Rants

Friends nobody needs. Sorry dor you JN.

Something different:
Can't tell you how sad I am about the death of Robin Williams.
I love "Dead poets society" and "Good mornig Vietnam".
 

Last edited by gently69 (August 12, 2014 7:27 am)


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ten:" I'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye."

Sherlock: "I heard you.”

"Temptation coursing through our veins " 
(Tony Hadley)

 
 

August 12, 2014 7:36 am  #1408


Re: Free Rants

Very sorry for you, JN. A terribly thoughtless thing to do. I really hope you will get a ticket somehow. 

Yes, gently, this is so sad. "Dead Poets Society" was a real inspiration for me when I was studying and quite afraid of not being able to work in my chosen insecure job. But it was the thing I loved and wanted to do and Robin's Mr Keating was really encouraging. 


------------------------------
"To fake the death of one sibling may be regarded as a misfortune; to fake the death of both looks like carelessness." Oscar Wilde about Mycroft Holmes

"It is what it is says love." (Erich Fried)

“Enjoy the journey of life and not just the endgame. I’m also a great believer in treating others as you would like to be treated.” (Benedict Cumberbatch)



 
 

August 12, 2014 8:02 am  #1409


Re: Free Rants

The movies you mentioned, gently, were my two favourites, too.
So sad for Robin and his family. You really can't look into people's heads. Never judge from outward appearances.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
John: "Have you spoken to Mycroft, Molly, uh, anyone?"
Mrs Hudson: "They don’t matter. You do."


I BELIEVE IN SERIES 5!




                                                                                                                  
 

August 12, 2014 8:44 am  #1410


Re: Free Rants

Yes, this comes as such a surprise... 
I loved him when he played more serious roles, and I suppose a lot of people never really acknowledged what a brilliant actor he was apart from being a pretty good comedian. "Good Morning, Vietnam", Good Will Hunting", "One Hour Photo", "Dead Poets Society"... he was perfect in all of those and many more. Hard to believe thst there didn't seem to be another way out for him. 


___________________________________________________
"Am I the current King of England?

"I see no shame in having an unhealthy obsession with something." - David Tennant
"We did observe." - David Tennant in "Richard II"

 
 

August 12, 2014 1:03 pm  #1411


Re: Free Rants


------------------------------
"To fake the death of one sibling may be regarded as a misfortune; to fake the death of both looks like carelessness." Oscar Wilde about Mycroft Holmes

"It is what it is says love." (Erich Fried)

“Enjoy the journey of life and not just the endgame. I’m also a great believer in treating others as you would like to be treated.” (Benedict Cumberbatch)



 
 

August 12, 2014 2:03 pm  #1412


Re: Free Rants

I was so sad when I read about Robin death. I grew up watching his films and I really admire his works. He's got this rare talent to be an excellent comedian and brilliant dramatic actor at the same time. Today is very sad day indeed.


***************************************************************************************************************************                                    

"Hey, chief, I might be wrong, but I think we're flying into a mountain. This makes me feel... scared of the mountain.
One thing we could do is pull up and fly over the mountain. How does that sound to...
"
 

August 12, 2014 2:34 pm  #1413


Re: Free Rants

A tragic loss(and far too soon)of a great talent. He will be sorely missed
Bev(DPS)


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http://professorfangirl.tumblr.com/post/105838327464/heres-an-outtake-of-mark-gatiss-on-the
 

August 12, 2014 2:46 pm  #1414


Re: Free Rants

JN, I'm so sorry to hear about your 'friend'. Ugh. I really hope you get a ticket somehow, some way!


I have a habit of falling asleep with the TV on and then wake up to the news... I honestly thought I was having some silly strange nightmare when I woke to to hearing Robin Williams had passed away. I am so sorry it had to end this way for him.

He was such a big part of my childhood, I think my favourite will always be Patch Addams... 

The world has truly become a much less fun place now. 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Don't talk out loud, you lower the IQ of the whole street!"

"Oh Watson. Nothing made me... I made me"
"Luuuuurve Ginger Nuts"

Tumblr[/url] I [url=http://archiveofourown.org/users/This_is_The_Phantom_Lady/pseuds/This_is_The_Phantom_Lady]AO3
#IbelieveInSeries5
 

August 12, 2014 4:33 pm  #1415


Re: Free Rants

Awwww….     I grew up loving Mrs. Doubtfire, and Hook, too.
How he could be serious, then utterly childlike, showing the importance of making others laugh.
Too many people fighting demons no one else realizes.  Nice link - Rhodes is right about our language.


And erf… sucks, JN.  Surely where you're at, they have those 'gift' Visa/Mastercards you can buy for just a certain amount to use for such a purpose?


_________________________________________________________________________

We solve crimes, I blog about it, and he forgets his pants.  I wouldn't hold out too much hope!

Just this morning you were all tiny and small and made of clay!

I'm working my way up the greasy pole.  It's… very greasy.  And…  pole-shaped.
 

August 12, 2014 4:47 pm  #1416


Re: Free Rants

SusiGo wrote:

Here is a very good piece by James Rhodes about Williams and depression in general:

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/culture/jamesrhodes/100075913/robin-williams-dies-depression-is-a-cloak-of-lead-a-toxic-second-skin/

 
Important.


__________________________________

"After all this time?" "Always."
Good bye, Lord Rickman of the Alan
 

August 12, 2014 6:25 pm  #1417


Re: Free Rants

JN - not really a friend at all. Terribly disappointing for you and shows she has no moral compass. What a shabby thing to do to someone.

Phantom- well done. Try to cut all links. Keep all messages etc. and when you feel able report him to the police.

Re: Robin Williams...I was so shocked and upset when I heard the news this morning. What a poor tortured yet brilliant soul he was. Dead Poets Society and Good Will Hunting... 


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't make people into heroes John. Heroes don't exist and if they did I wouldn't be one of them.
 

August 14, 2014 2:05 pm  #1418


Re: Free Rants

I'm so pissed at the Danish healthcare system. 

I work for a ward at the local hospital who treat childhood obesity with one of the biggest success rates in the world and who have gotten several international awards for both their treatment and their research in the subject.

We're barely scraping by economically (and they survive on people like me who work without pay)... They have to seek grants all the time from private funds because guess what? The Danish healthcare system doesn't take us seriously... we have several thousands of children being treated at the moment and the results are stunning. 

Tonight there will be a press release about some of those amazing results, and our 'big boss' told us he is going to take a stab at them on live TV. 

The facts are, the earlier you treat obesity and change the habits of an obese child the less likely they are to become ill later in life... if the Danish healthcare system actually bothered with us, they'd make a huge investment and save a lot of money in the long run. Not to mention the most important thing; thousands of childrens lives and mental wellbeing. 

*Deep breaths* 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Don't talk out loud, you lower the IQ of the whole street!"

"Oh Watson. Nothing made me... I made me"
"Luuuuurve Ginger Nuts"

Tumblr[/url] I [url=http://archiveofourown.org/users/This_is_The_Phantom_Lady/pseuds/This_is_The_Phantom_Lady]AO3
#IbelieveInSeries5
 

August 14, 2014 2:17 pm  #1419


Re: Free Rants

Re: Phantom getting funding:

If the child of a famous celebrity passes through your clinic, you will get funding straight away. It's ugly but the unfortunate reality is that these days people don't fund serious work unlike (a) there has been a disaster like funding for scientists studyng ocean currents & tsunamis skyrocketed after the Boxing Day tsunamis or (b) someone really famous has accessed your services.

We don't want to wish disaster upon large numbers of people so we should go for the second option of having a celebrity mascot. It's still a sell out but not as damaging as option (a).

 

August 14, 2014 2:27 pm  #1420


Re: Free Rants

We have at least one child of a sports celebrity being treated... not working.

We have so many awards from all over the world. The doctors keep going away to accept praise... Last one was our youngest researcher who accepted an important Young researchers award at an international Obesity convention.... Not to brag, but we are world famous in our field... the only ones not taking us serious is the national healthcare system. 

To think of how much more we could do for so many kids... It breaks my heart as much as it pisses me off.

I grew up being obese myself, and I still am... I would do anything that no kid had to go through the same... 


Lets hope the TV appearance tonight will do something. The 'Big boss' seems very confident this is the stab they need to wake up... 

Last edited by This Is The Phantom Lady (August 14, 2014 2:29 pm)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Don't talk out loud, you lower the IQ of the whole street!"

"Oh Watson. Nothing made me... I made me"
"Luuuuurve Ginger Nuts"

Tumblr[/url] I [url=http://archiveofourown.org/users/This_is_The_Phantom_Lady/pseuds/This_is_The_Phantom_Lady]AO3
#IbelieveInSeries5
 

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