Happy birthday, Susi!

Welcome back, Susi, and congrats again to you, Schmiezi!

What Sherlock could have said instead of " Sherlock is actually a girl's name"

Am I a pretty boy?
Bill Wiggins always makes your coffee.
Come kiss me, doofus!
Did you ever have a look at tumblr?
Even when I'm not with you, I'm always with you, John.
Fly with me, John.
Give me your hand and follow me, John.
How could I ever leave you, John?
I will never leave you again, John.
Janine could not be bothered to move to Sussex, so there's still this cottage...
Kuala Lumpur is nice this time of year. 
Let's get married.
My heart has always belonged to you.
Not for one second will I not think of you, John.
Oregami was just for distraction...
Partner, in some parallel universe we're probably married.
Quiet little island, just the two of us against the rest of the waves...
Run away with me.
So kiss me and smile for me, tell me that you'll wait for me, hold me like you'll never let me go ...
Take my hand.
Under these circumstances it's nearly impossible to ruin this horribly clichéd scene, but don't worry, I'll think of something.
Venice, Paris, Casablanca, where should we go first...?

Whatever you do, don't tell Mary about the knee grab.
 

Great, Mattlocked.

What Sherlock could have said instead of " Sherlock is actually a girl's name"

Am I a pretty boy?
Bill Wiggins always makes your coffee.
Come kiss me, doofus!
Did you ever have a look at tumblr?
Even when I'm not with you, I'm always with you, John.
Fly with me, John.
Give me your hand and follow me, John.
How could I ever leave you, John?
I will never leave you again, John.
Janine could not be bothered to move to Sussex, so there's still this cottage...
Kuala Lumpur is nice this time of year. 
Let's get married.
My heart has always belonged to you.
Not for one second will I not think of you, John.
Oregami was just for distraction...

Partner, in some parallel universe we're probably married.
 

"Things John should have said to Mary when he learned that she shot Sherlock"

Aim better next time
Bad, bad girl
Can we please have a divorce right now?
Did you actually want to kill him or was it just surgery?
Ever thought about using a watergun?
F... cough!
Good shot, but did it occur to you that this is the man I love most?
Have you had your glasses on, love?
I think your future is no longer my privilege.
Jeez, Mary! THIS. Isn't. Done!
Knocking him out is one of my hobbies, but I never thought of such drastic measures.
Liar. Lack of Love. Lady: Leave!!
May I remind you that you were not supposed to be like that?
No more!
Off you go!
Phew, well, darling, I'll talk him round.
Qualified for the next friend shooting world championships.
R4YL (Just learned something new  )
Surgery, my ass.
Time to pack your bags and off you po... uhm, go.
Unfortunately I can't leave you - I wish I didn't have the chemical defect.
Visiting hours, when?
Watsons just don't shoot at their Holmes, that's it.
XXXZ
You should put that on a t-shirt "I shot S.H."

Zero chances that I'll ever forgive you! (Unless you allow me to name the baby Sherlock.)

I wish you a wonderful day!

"Things John should have said to Mary when he learned that she shot Sherlock"

Aim better next time
Bad, bad girl
Can we please have a divorce right now?
Did you actually want to kill him or was it just surgery?
Ever thought about using a watergun?
F... cough!
Good shot, but did it occur to you that this is the man I love most?
Have you had your glasses on, love?
I think your future is no longer my privilege.
Jeez, Mary! THIS. Isn't. Done!
Knocking him out is one of my hobbies, but I never thought of such drastic measures.
Liar. Lack of Love. Lady: Leave!!
May I remind you that you were not supposed to be like that?
No more!
Off you go!
Phew, well, darling, I'll talk him round.
Qualified for the next friend shooting world championships.
R4YL (Just learned something new  )
Surgery, my ass.
Time to pack your bags and off you po... uhm, go.
Unfortunately I can't leave you - I wish I didn't have the chemical defect.
Visiting hours, when?

Watsons just don't shoot at their Holmes, that's it.

That was a good one, mrshouse.

"Things John should have said to Mary when he learned that she shot Sherlock"

Aim better next time
Bad, bad girl
Can we please have a divorce right now?
Did you actually want to kill him or was it just surgery?
Ever thought about using a watergun?
F... cough!
Good shot, but did it occur to you that this is the man I love most?
Have you had your glasses on, love?
I think your future is no longer my privilege.
Jeez, Mary! THIS. Isn't. Done!
Knocking him out is one of my hobbies, but I never thought of such drastic measures.
Liar. Lack of Love. Lady: Leave!!
May I remind you that you were not supposed to be like that?
No more!
Off you go!
Phew, well, darling, I'll talk him round.

Qualified for the next friend shooting world championships.
 

"Things John should have said to Mary when he learned that she shot Sherlock"

Aim better next time