You seem to ask, after a clarification: is there a reason in the writing for Sherlock being called by negative epithets?

Well, in the show he is called: freak, psychopath, arrogant sod. 

He is not a freak or a psychopath, but he is an arrogant sod.

I also don't agree when you say that Sherlock has vices, not flaws. Smoking is a vice. Arrogance is a flaw. 

Anyway, then you go on to post links to some very interesting blogposts about how Sherlock has had to change who he is to deserve love. Both very interesting, but I don't see what they have to do with your original question. I'll just say that yes, it does seem like Sherlock has had to progress to become more "normal" to deserve love. Many will probably argue that Sherlock is just maturing, being more sensitive etc. In TAB John pretty much said it's not human to to be disinterested in romance, to not have "impulses",as he puts it, and that Sherlock is greatly flawed because of that of all things. When he asks: What made you like this? He doesn't ask: why are you so rude and arrogant? He asks: why don't you want a girlfriend/relationship?
Sherlock doesn't reject friendship. not even close friendship. But somehow, the fact that he rejects conventional romance is seen as inhuman, the show implies it means Sherlock won't let anybody close to him. But, he does let John close to him, but that is just not enough. Sherlock needs to settle down, commit romantically, to be considered human. With him and John it was clearly a case of John just being a kind of Mr. Right (platonic or romantic, up to you). Someone who, initially anyway, accepted Sherlock as he was, and even needed him to be the way he was. If Sherlock isn't asexual, then the lack of romantic attachments is most likely because that Miss Right hasn't showed up in the same way, so I don't see why John had to be such a bully about it. But I digress. 

But I suppose Sherlock has been character assasinated, for I don't see that Sherlock in the canon either. I j

Everybody is in love with everybody in the fanon and there is support for all ships.

So really, Sherlock is in love with Mary, Molly, Janine, Irene, anybody you wish, even women! 

Although I like Mary, the same way I like Jim, I couldn't ship her and Sherlock, she's too parent-figur-y I think. They don't have that sort of chemistry, Mary is too dominant (although not the same way Irene is dominant) I don't like it, but Janine is a better female romantic candidate. I do like Janine, I just don't like the idea of Sherlock being romantic.