BBC Sherlock Fan Forum - Serving Sherlockians since February 2012 / D'you think Sherlock has ever had a girlfriend?

**Posted by Manticone** October 3, 2013 7:53 am

besleybean wrote:
I confess from the outset that I'm pretty much of the asexual Sherlock category.
This of course doesn't necessarily mean he is a virgin, but I personally think he is.
This could put me out of kilter with Benedict and Steven, but I don't agree with them on everything.
I am willing to accept he may have dabbled/experimented.
But I don't see why he should have HAD to.
His responses to Irene seem to imply he is a virgin .Mycroft thinks he is and I think he would know.
I do wonder if sometimes people confuse celibacy/asexuality...
Anyhow. I don't think Sherlock would have dated in the usual sense.
I do think he was attracted to Irene, but not sure if it was sexual or not.

I totally agree. I don't think Sherlock is afraid of sex, as he said - nor repulsed - just not interested. I also don't think he wants that information broadcasted to the world, and I think Mycroft - in his sibling-rivalry way - went ahead and tried to 'one up' Sherlock (especially in front of John).

Which to me is just foolish. ;) Sherlock has absolutely no sense of propriety. Who knows what he'd do to get back at his older brother?

**Posted by MNRebecca** October 3, 2013 2:53 pm

Hm. Given that asexuality and celibacy are different things, could Sherlock be celibate rather than asexual? Thoughts?

Last edited by MNRebecca (October 3, 2013 4:00 pm)

**Posted by QuiteExtraordinary** October 3, 2013 3:59 pm

Keep in mind that it's a TV show. The writers will probably go for celibacy, simply because that's reversible at any time, so they can pair him up with someone whenever they decide it's getting too boring otherwise.

**Posted by sj4iy** October 3, 2013 4:02 pm

He's too naive about women to have ever had a girlfriend, imo.

**Posted by MNRebecca** October 3, 2013 4:05 pm

QuiteExtraordinary wrote:
The writers will probably go for celibacy, simply because that's reversible at any time.

I would argue celibacy being reversible at any time. It can be a very committed choice. In the case of Sherlock, I'm thinking it would definitely be a committed choice, not one to be carelessly discarded.

**Posted by besleybean** October 3, 2013 4:09 pm

The general definitions are considered to be:
Celibacy by choice. i.e you are sexual but choose not to engage in relationships.
Asexual: you are just born not interested in sexual realationships.

**Posted by QuiteExtraordinary** October 3, 2013 4:38 pm

The definition of asexuality is that you don't feel sexually attracted to anyone. Neither men nor women, no one. I have that, but it seems to be changing at the moment (towards heterosexuality), so obviously there's no guarantee that it always stays that way, but you can't just simply decide against it and make it go away. With celibacy it's different, that's a conscious choice you make, and at least theoretically reversible any time, if you're willing to change your mind.

**Posted by besleybean** October 3, 2013 4:46 pm

I hope that's what I said!
As you have indicated, you can be more or less straight asexual or more or less gay asexual! But don't have to define as either!

**Posted by MNRebecca** October 3, 2013 4:52 pm

So let's play with celibacy for a moment. Under what circumstances would you want Sherlock to consciously abandon intentional celibacy?

No, I will not go first.

**Posted by besleybean** October 3, 2013 5:00 pm

I never want Sherlock to give up his celibacy.
As far as I'm concerned, he's a virgin and shall remain so!

**Posted by MNRebecca** October 3, 2013 5:06 pm

besleybean wrote:
I never want Sherlock to give up his celibacy.
As far as I'm concerned, he's a virgin and shall remain so!

Hmmmm. I like that.

**Posted by ancientsgate** October 3, 2013 7:33 pm

sj4iy wrote:
He's too naive about women to have ever had a girlfriend, imo.

Naive about women? I thought he handled a very complicated Irene pretty competently, considering she was one of the few people Sherlock has ever met who was his intellectual equal (except for maybe Moritarty, and Sherlock wasn't going to be written to look at HIM "that way", lol). In fact, we know very little about what Sherlock thinks about anything to do with females, or males, for that matter-- the writers simply haven't explored that in any depth at all. All we have are Mycroft's accusations, which I put very little if any stock in, and Sherlock interferring with and criticizing John's choice in girlfriends, which I chalk up to Sherlock's unrequited and jealous, possessive love for the man (lol again). There are miles and miles and miles and lightyears of places the writers could take Sherlock (and us), if they choose to, to explore what his sexuality actually is, was, or could be. Just my take on all that, as a casual observer-- I don't get too intellectually or emotionally involved about questions about a fictitional character's way of being. It shall all be revealed eventually. Or not. We'll see.

**Posted by The Doctor** October 4, 2013 6:03 am

QuiteExtraordinary wrote:
Keep in mind that it's a TV show.

Isn't this heresy? lol

**Posted by besleybean** October 4, 2013 6:21 am

I know, it's like when I thought the boss was never gonna speak to me again after I dare suggest Sherlock Holmes wasn't real!

**Posted by QuiteExtraordinary** October 4, 2013 9:33 am

Oops, sorry, I forgot over my general world view for a second that Sherlock is, of course, a real person. Won't happen again.

**Posted by holmes23** October 6, 2013 1:35 pm

Manticone wrote:
Also, Sherlock sees and observes everything he possibly can. When Irene Adler confronts him naked, her willingness to show off her body is revealing about her nature and about how she views power. She has no fear in that regard, and Sherlock correctly deduces that her measurements could be the code for the safe. I don't think he was looking at her for any sexual reason.

A curious thought, why did it take 'ages' for him to work out Ithe 'SHERLOCKED' password? Wasn't it easy comparing to the other? I know the pressure of the situation was there as far as the first one is concerned. Any way just a thought...

**Posted by besleybean** October 6, 2013 1:55 pm

I think a semi naked lady looking down at herself..well only gives the option of a couple of possibilities!

**Posted by QuiteExtraordinary** October 6, 2013 2:07 pm

holmes23 wrote:
Manticone wrote:
Also, Sherlock sees and observes everything he possibly can. When Irene Adler confronts him naked, her willingness to show off her body is revealing about her nature and about how she views power. She has no fear in that regard, and Sherlock correctly deduces that her measurements could be the code for the safe. I don't think he was looking at her for any sexual reason.
A curious thought, why did it take 'ages' for him to work out Ithe 'SHERLOCKED' password? Wasn't it easy comparing to the other? I know the pressure of the situation was there as far as the first one is concerned. Any way just a thought...

~~Because it was important for the plot~~ Because the SHERLOCKED thing was about romance and Sherlock doesn't really understand romance?

**Posted by ancientsgate** October 6, 2013 2:20 pm

holmes23 wrote:
A curious thought, why did it take 'ages' for him to work out Ithe 'SHERLOCKED' password? Wasn't it easy comparing to the other? I know the pressure of the situation was there as far as the first one is concerned. Any way just a thought...

Because the writers (all men, of course) decided they need to show How Very Heterosexual Sherlock Is by getting him all addle-brained about that Irene Adler. In the presence of breasts and a fine female mind, apparently our Sherlock's own mind flies out the window. I hope the writers don't make that mistake again. Just my opinion, of course. The answer is, who knows?

Last edited by ancientsgate (October 6, 2013 2:21 pm)

**Posted by holmes23** October 6, 2013 2:26 pm

QuiteExtraordinary wrote:
holmes23 wrote:
Manticone wrote:
Also, Sherlock sees and observes everything he possibly can. When Irene Adler confronts him naked, her willingness to show off her body is revealing about her nature and about how she views power. She has no fear in that regard, and Sherlock correctly deduces that her measurements could be the code for the safe. I don't think he was looking at her for any sexual reason.
A curious thought, why did it take 'ages' for him to work out Ithe 'SHERLOCKED' password? Wasn't it easy comparing to the other? I know the pressure of the situation was there as far as the first one is concerned. Any way just a thought...

~~Because it was important for the plot~~ Because the SHERLOCKED thing was about romance and Sherlock doesn't really understand romance?

So the conclusion is Sherlock hasn't had a girlfriend

Last edited by holmes23 (October 6, 2013 2:34 pm)