Andrew's sad news.

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Posted by besleybean
March 9, 2024 4:48 pm
#1

I see poor Andrew recently lost his Mum.
Bless him. x


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Posted by Yitzock
March 12, 2024 2:53 pm
#2

That's too bad. I hope he's hanging in there.
I didn't share this on the forum before because I wasn't ready, but I went through that a few months ago. It was one of the most terrible things I have ever experienced.



Clueing for looks.
 
Posted by besleybean
March 12, 2024 7:46 pm
#3

Yes, I believe the funeral was today.
So sorry for your own sad news.


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Posted by Yitzock
March 17, 2024 4:18 pm
#4

Thanks. There's no real way around it, it just sucks. At first I just felt sad all the time, but now I don't feel sad all the time anymore. It doesn't completely go away, though, and sometimes I have emotional moments.



Clueing for looks.
 
Posted by besleybean
March 17, 2024 4:21 pm
#5

In the Summer, when I retire, I will become the main carer for my parents...
I just keep hoping they both hang on long enough, for me to at least spend a little time with them.
They are 90 and 88 and quite frail.
Virtual hugs to you.


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Posted by Liberty
March 17, 2024 5:32 pm
#6

I'm so sorry, Yitzock. You are so young to lose your mum. It's just awful: there's no getting away from it. I lost my mum several years ago and all my memories from the months afterwards are tinged with grief. It does get better .. I know you know that. Eventually the sadness is just occasional. I still miss my mum a lot though, and that's fine. I don't think that will ever go away and I don't know if I even want it to. Thinking of you going through those early months .. sending virtual hugs too.

 
Posted by Yitzock
March 19, 2024 3:44 pm
#7

Thank you, both of you.
I don't know if I ever mentioned here that she had cancer, and unfortunately a form of cancer that keeps coming back and doesn't go into remission. She had been living with it for about 7 years, and her condition deteriorated very quickly in the last couple of months. I was glad to be there and be able to take care of her at the end, but it was also very difficult.
Best wishes to you, besley, when you are taking care of your parents.



Clueing for looks.
 
Posted by besleybean
March 19, 2024 4:44 pm
#8

Thanks, dear.
Yes, just before lockdown, dad was diagnosed with an incurable cancer...
I am useless on technicalities, so I may be getting this wrong.
Lymphatic cancer?  Blood cancer, I think.
Anyway, it is definitely incurable and my sis and I both seem to remember him been given 5 years.
He has monthly blood tests and they are basically just monitoring/regulating best they can.
But it was made pretty clear, it's just a time-buying exercise.
 


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Posted by Liberty
March 19, 2024 7:26 pm
#9

I hope you do get a good while of quality time with your dad, and that he feels OK. It must be difficult for all of you.

 
Posted by besleybean
March 19, 2024 7:28 pm
#10

We just all need to pull together, hey?


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Posted by Yitzock
March 21, 2024 2:47 pm
#11

Yes, I hope you are all able to support each other through this and enjoy what time you still have. That's all you can do.



Clueing for looks.
 
Posted by besleybean
March 21, 2024 5:14 pm
#12

Truth beknown I was a bit upset yesterday.
I phoned my parents to thank them for my birthday card and generous cheque.
Now I could see that Mum had just done the signing, my sister had clearly written everything else and posted it. Fair enough, that is standard these days.
But on the phone, I felt Mum had no concept that it was my birthday and didn't really understand what I was phoning and thanking her for.
She used to be so sharp, but her memory is impaired these days.


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Posted by Liberty
March 21, 2024 8:22 pm
#13

That's so sad. It's so difficult to see parents lose their abilities. Happy Birthday to you, though. And happy retirement when it comes.

 
Posted by Yitzock
March 24, 2024 2:44 am
#14

I know from my grandparents how difficult witnessing that decline is, especiallly knowing there isn't anything you can do about it or make it better, except to try to help the person through difficult moments and not to aggravate them or remind them that they have difficulty remembering things or doing tasks they once could do more easily.



Clueing for looks.
 
Posted by besleybean
March 24, 2024 6:41 am
#15

Yes, I just keep saying to Dad:
we're all getting old, we all have issues...we just have to help each other to make life as easy as possible.


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Posted by Liberty
March 24, 2024 7:32 am
#16

I'm just aware that I'm really lucky that I still have my dad, and seeing that decline is inevitable if they live long enough. It's sad that my mum didn't see my son grow up, but I'm expecting a grandchild and it's possible my dad will be there to see that next generation.

 
Posted by besleybean
March 24, 2024 7:37 am
#17

Oh that is good news. x


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Posted by Liberty
March 24, 2024 12:32 pm
#18

It is! I'm trying not to poke my nose and give too much advice at the moment. They'll find their own way through. I'm so lucky as my son and daughter-in-law live very nearby, but also expecting to be quite busy with childcare in the future. The child will hopefully have two living great-grandparents if they both hold out for a few months. They're both in their mid 90s, and in my dad's case getting much more frail.
I watched All Of Us Strangers yesterday, and found it very moving, but just thought I'd mention here that I would have found it difficult to watch if I'd had a recent bereavement.
 

 
Posted by besleybean
March 24, 2024 1:28 pm
#19

Imagine the feelings of me and my hubby's old pal, when we saw that Amanda play about the male suicide...it was difficult, not being long after we'd lost Brian.


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Posted by Liberty
March 24, 2024 4:52 pm
#20

That must have been so hard for you both.
I think it's strange was well that when somebody has died, you also have to do all your other stuff and most of the people you are interacting with don't even know. I don't know if that makes it better, being famous like Andrew and most people will know, or if it's better not. And I say most people will know, but possibly not everybody: I didn't know until you posted here. So maybe the average shop assistant, charity collector, other people that he interacts with in day to day life, don't know and will say inappropriate things anyway.
 

 


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