BBC Sherlock Fan Forum - Serving Sherlockians since February 2012 / Why did Sherlock leave the wedding early, looking so sad and dejected?

**Posted by besleybean** January 27, 2014 6:52 am

Ah but it does! Just imagine them all carrying on their lives, when we're not watching...we'll catch up with them again soon.

**Posted by SherlocklivesinOH** January 27, 2014 5:03 pm

tobeornot221b wrote:
Wholocked wrote:
I also think his line "You won't need me around anymore now that you have a real baby on the way" is indicative of his feelings just then. John has just married and has a baby on the way.

So he left.
And then the episode is called "The Sign of Three", not "The Sign of Four", after all...

Honestly, up until his reference to "the three of you," gave away that (he thought) Mary was pregnant, I really thought his references to "three" referred to them being a team of three now: him, John, and Mary. I love the idea that his speech(es) carried the subtext of being married to them both.

@Swanpride - what did you mean by "partnerlook"? Are you referring to them drunk together on the stairs of Baker Street?

If before I had seen this episode, I heard that he ends up leaving the wedding early, I would have thought, "Well, of course, Sherlock Holmes doesn't like social situations."

But watching him in this episode I almost believed he was having a good time...after all, he was in a role where he did get to show off! I think his anti-socialness is changing a little bit, so by the end of this episode I wasn't so sure that was the right explanation anymore. I would actually kind of have thought he would want to stick around as long as possible because he'd be nearer John, even if John couldn't devote the whole evening to him.

**Posted by besleybean** January 27, 2014 5:31 pm

The day was all about John and Mary, not John and Sherlock.

**Posted by Bruce Cook** January 28, 2014 5:04 am

When I first started this thread, I thought Sherlock had left the wedding early because he had not been able to play his violin composition for John and Mary. I saw him leave the sheet music in the envelope and walk out of the wedding because (I thought) in all the confusion, he'd missed his chance to present his special gift to the newly married couple.

The rockin' modern music was playing and everybody was dancing (including Janine with somebody other than Sherlock) – so I thought he'd decided not to interrupt the loud and joyful festivities by trying to change the mood with his somber violin composition.

I was wrong, and I realized this a day or so later. But Sherlock's reasons for leaving the wedding were almost the same as those I imagined. He did indeed feel excluded from the modern and very different kinds of people who surrounded him.

After all the funny and delightful situations in this episode, this final moment took us all the way back to the original character we met in the first moments of this amazing series.

Last edited by Bruce Cook (January 28, 2014 3:40 pm)

**Posted by Davina** January 28, 2014 9:51 am

But he did choose to leave as soon as he saw his partner for the wedding Miss J dancing with another guy.

**Posted by besleybean** January 28, 2014 4:33 pm

He knew his work was done.

**Posted by jenosborn** January 28, 2014 6:07 pm

Bruce Cook wrote:
After all the funny and delightful situations in this episode, this final moment took us all the way back to the original character we met in the first moments of this amazing series.

Yes. This is why the ending, though bittersweet, was so right. (He had done his work
well, the bridesmaid dance would have been his last 'duty' but was unnecessary
since he was successful in finding Janine a partner.) The ending made me smile
as much or more than any of the funny moments, because it was a tough job
for him, well done, and it was over. Very in character finally. Alone protects him.
One of my favorite moments.

**Posted by SherlocklivesinOH** January 30, 2014 9:18 pm

Swanpride wrote:
But this were not the flowers of the bride...well...perhaps it was, in a way.

Seriously this whole thing looks like a threesome wedding, and not just because John and Sherlock turned up in partnerlook. First Mary, John and Sherlock are greeting the guests, with the bridesmaids behind them, then Sherlock and John tell each other how much they are in love, then Sherlock makes a lifetime vow and then he throws "his" boquet.

What do you mean by the bolded ("partnerlook"?)

I think with Johnlock goggles on, you can actually looking at the early-leaving either way: on the one hand, it could have been because it hurt him to watch John dance with someone else (and think of what he and Mary would do later on).

On the other hand, if he had stayed at the wedding, he'd be where he could see John, and perhaps talk to John some more.

And if we still go with the theory that he has Asperger's, being at that kind of event and doing his best to be social when it doesn't come naturally, could be just plain tiring.

Last edited by SherlocklivesinOH (January 31, 2014 1:58 am)

**Posted by Zatoichi** February 7, 2014 4:39 pm

jenosborn wrote:
Bruce Cook wrote:
After all the funny and delightful situations in this episode, this final moment took us all the way back to the original character we met in the first moments of this amazing series.
Yes. This is why the ending, though bittersweet, was so right. (He had done his work
well, the bridesmaid dance would have been his last 'duty' but was unnecessary
since he was successful in finding Janine a partner.) The ending made me smile
as much or more than any of the funny moments, because it was a tough job
for him, well done, and it was over. Very in character finally. Alone protects him.
One of my favorite moments.

Yes. This end made me a lot happier than if he had danced all night and had fun with Janine and other guests. (Am I a terrible person?) I also did not see him being sad and dejected, rather thoughtful..
Also he was probably exhausted, being around people and socializing is still unpleasant for him, I do not think it changed that much since Many Happy Returns (when he did not join John´s birthday-party). At least I hope so, I like my Sherlock that way..

**Posted by Le Bear Polar** February 7, 2014 4:56 pm

Agree with you Zatoichi. Sherlock staying and dancing would have looked completely out of character, even after that omission that he secretly likes dancing. Leaving was the right thing to do. Sherlock just doesn't do people. Mycroft totally saw it coming, and wisely declined the invite.

**Posted by SherlocklivesinOH** February 8, 2014 2:24 am

Smoothways wrote:
it is very weird in a way. The last series when John finds out that Mary is the most dangerous spy and assassin possible even almost killing Sherlock he needs to get explained that this is what you get when you secretly look for it (You always get what you are looking for).
This is where SH as the story becomes revealing and real. It tells the real and true story about human relation ships. Without all the paint and gloss. Without the pomp and circumstances. Completely naked and really painful for their characters. In fact some of the scenes are more like theater screen plays and the actors are characters on stage. Some scenes the time stands still but at a point far from being boring and repetitive instead at the climax with a lot of tension where the outcome is simply unpredictable. (Because SH himself has to figure it out still.)
Back to John W - he refuses to watch the file about Mary to find out the truth instead he passes the ultimate test of trust and most importantly unconditional love (ok, apart from the demands on the naming of the child...etc).
And SH witnessing this begins to understand what life with true love can be about. Before he was convinced people fall in love simply because they are not bright enough to see the real person behind a masquerade. Now that John got to know the real uncovered Mary in a very evil and cold blooded way, he still does not give up on his love.
And this wins SH over. SH goes by logic at all times, even in case of love. And in a strange way he is right - as always.
By executing the bad guy in front of the police he picks the only ending which will allow John and Mary to get on with their lives. Even at the costs of his own. Very consequent. SH reflects a character with no fears. But throughout the series we find out that is only because most of those fears people are haunted by are not worth a thought. Most of what these people are afraid to lose can be easily replaced. Until he is threatened to lose John, his own life or John himself is threatened to lose Mary herself.
I would go as far as saying SH is a bit like a modern version of Shakespeare. What both have in common is the deep message and a fundamental statement in the end.
This is thanks to great performances of the actors as well as great direction and script writing.
I can' t wait to re-watch the last episode on I-player again. Because it will allow me to pay attention to some details I have missed out inevitably.
Another thing SH and Shakespeare have in common is the attention to detail. These days there are far too many sloppy productions.

After all it is just movie theater!

I think Sherlock's behavior in HLV, (the sacrifice) really reinforces the idea of the "threesome marriage." He's made a vow to John AND Mary, he's not just being nice to Mary as part of his vow to John.

Because keep in mind, it could have gone the other way, Sherlock could have reacted by turning against Mary and doing his best to get her out of John's life, which would be legitimate but also motiviated by jealousy.

When I watched TSoT with my parents, as Sherlock was beginning to head out, my mom said, "He can't leave. He's the best man." My response was, "But he's also Sherlock Holmes."

Last edited by SherlocklivesinOH (February 8, 2014 2:26 am)

**Posted by besleybean** February 8, 2014 8:35 am

It was interesting hearing Benedict talk about shootig CAM(at the Apple store), he really played down the self-sacrifice aspect. He said it was purely cos Sherlock had lost the game and he was pissed off.Which may of course explain John's mute reaction.

**Posted by Willow** February 8, 2014 9:10 pm

besleybean wrote:
It was interesting hearing Benedict talk about shootig CAM(at the Apple store), he really played down the self-sacrifice aspect. He said it was purely cos Sherlock had lost the game and he was pissed off.Which may of course explain John's mute reaction.

Benedict coming down hard against the 'he did it for John' element of commentary; he really does seem to get a bit irritated with people treating it as if it is a soap opera...

**Posted by besleybean** February 8, 2014 9:34 pm

To be honest, I don't really think that's what he was referring to.
I think he wa speaking entirely from inside Sherlock's head..
Oh and apologies to Harriet, that last post was written before her request!

**Posted by QuiteExtraordinary** February 8, 2014 10:07 pm

No, probably Sherlock and John don't like each other at all. They're basically robots, and Sherlock is programmed to start an automatic process of self-destruction whenever he loses a game.
Luckily Mycroft knows where the off-switch is.

[Yes, that was sarcasm, in case anyone didn't get it. I just got a bit angry. And I'm also fed up with the insinuations that I have to ask every single actor and creator of the show before I can draw any kind of conclusion, and that I have to change my point of view if theirs is different.]

**Posted by besleybean** February 8, 2014 10:15 pm

Well, I don't actually know what any of them said about this particular scene anyway!
But I honestly do just think what I said.
Sherlock's work was done and there seemed no reason for him to hang around...

**Posted by SusiGo** February 8, 2014 10:36 pm

I think if you look closely at his face during the conversation with John and Mary and his move towards Janine before he realises she is dancing with someone else, you can see that there is more. No heartbreak, that would be saying far too much, but remember him telling Janine how much he loved to dance. He prepared for a waltz with her and did not get the opportunity. And he felt that he did not belong.

**Posted by Zatoichi** February 9, 2014 1:42 am

Yes, maybe he wanted a waltz and did not get it. And probably he felt like he did not belong, I certainly do at parties I know only 3 people, all of which are engaged in conversation or dance with others. I just refuse to see the tragedy, it happened to me all too often, that´s just life. If you want to get in touch with people at a party you have to put some effort in it or at least give it some time. He did not want to do both, he chose to leave instead. He could have stepped in between Janine and the nerd-guy (he is not exactly shy when it suits him and can be darn charming and he knows it), he could have waited for the next dance, he didn´t. That´s a choice I respect and I see no need to pity him for it.

Also being attached to very few close people myself I fully acknowledge the sadness of having to share your "special someone" with others. It is not "you and me against the rest of the world" anymore, he leaves John with the rest of the world and goes on doing what he does rather alone. But then again this is also something most people experience while growing up. Maybe I am desensitized bacause my best friend moved to Mexico 10 years ago at a time I had no one else, and I have not seen her again since then.. Sherlock and John are still both in London, and Mary even encourages them to spend time together. As much as Sherlock loves John, I strongly believe he is self-sufficient enough to not grief about living alone too much.

**Posted by This Is The Phantom Lady** February 10, 2014 9:26 am

Perhaps he was secretly scared that he was no longer needed; and that he would be a 3rd (maybe even 4th wheel) Especially as he got rejected the dance he was so much hoping for.

Maybe, just maybe he knew that Molly would notice him leaving with that hurt look? Maybe it will all make sense in S4?

**Posted by Tinks** February 10, 2014 1:35 pm

I think he realised his work was done and it was OK to leave them all to it now?
I think the scene did emphasise how alone Sherlock actually is, and I think that theme ran throughout the series but I don't think he was particularly dejected about not being able to dance.
Actually, how ridiculous am I that I was actually quite proud of how he handled the wedding?