I don't think it's terrible - I think it explains where she's coming from, and part of the reason why she felt she couldn't let him know (the other reason being to protect him, I suppose). 

Of course it's up to the viewers, and she's no angel, but the story doesn't make much sense if Mary is an out and out baddie, with evil intent.    I know that was what some people wanted from S4 (and I was quite keen on the idea of Mary as an uber-villain at one point myself), but it wasn't what we are given, and I don't think the story can be twisted round to show her that way, by claiming that her evil deeds were missed out, but implied.   I mean, it can for fanfiction obviously, or if people want to interpret it that way, but objectively speaking, I think it's difficult to claim that Moftiss intended it that way.  

Yes, I know you said grey, but talking generally, having done something evil would push her more to the blacker side.   However, I think if they haven't told us about it, then she hasn't done it. 
I do think John has quite a different relationship with Sherlock and with Rosie than he does with Mary!  (Although there are a few similarities with Sherlock, I have to admit - both relationships involve banter and love!).  But yes, it's sad that they have very little time for to be relaxed and happy together - there's the reconciliation, then pretty quickly into having a baby and dealing with the difficulties that brings, then Mary's past catching up with her, and then she's dead, and John is devastated.   She really had a very short time of family life, and it was the most difficult time, with the sleepless nights and getting used to sacrifices and responsibilities.  

I must watch again!  I have to admit I cried at Mary's death scene.  I think she became a very sympathetic character in S4. 

I wonder how much that is to do with how warm you feel towards Mary before she dies?  ("You" plural, not you personally, Susi.  It really irritates me how English doesn't have a plural "you", except colloquially!).   I wasn't a big fan, but she seemed so fragile and earnest in TST, that I kind of fell for her, so was upset when she died.  (The actual scene of jumping in front of the bullet was a bit silly, but after that felt really emotional).  I fell for her even more in TLD.  

It's something I will never understand...how people cannot be moved by John's grief in TST.

besleybean wrote:

It's something I will never understand...how people cannot be moved by John's grief in TST.

Because it sounds like something else entirely?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naXEF8gr7EU


 

I always wanted Mary to die, in whatever way, to leave the show. And was therefore surprised myself that the death scene made me cry. Amanda impressed me with her acting, and she got to me way more than I thought she would.

But that could also be because of where I come from. I have experienced the death of someone very close to me, and so if I feel something - anything at all - for the characters involved, any death scene will always get to me. It will bring up something from my own memories (which is why Alone by the Water absolutely crushed me, and it's the only fanfic I regret reading).

As for Mary, I do think she has done worse things than what we are being shown and told. Remember Magnussen talked about her going freelance - what did she do then? There are certainly things she's done that we haven't been told. And I don't think Mary ever thought she would lose John's love if she told him she was part of a team to rescue a team of hostages.
 

Vhanja wrote:

As for Mary, I do think she has done worse things than what we are being shown and told. Remember Magnussen talked about her going freelance - what did she do then? There are certainly things she's done that we haven't been told. And I don't think Mary ever thought she would lose John's love if she told him she was part of a team to rescue a team of hostages.
 

I fully agree with you here!

And Susi, I am also moved so much more by Sherlock's death than by Mary's. Martin's acting has been so subtle in TRF and so ... not subtle in TST.

besleybean wrote:

But in terms of the character's life...John is still suffering, which makes it so much more palatable.
Sherlock clearly misses Mary, too.

When does he say so? Or which scene shows that?

He surely blames himself and missed John on the other hand.

Personally, I don't feel I need John to have the same reaction to Mary's death as Sherlock's "death".   Two very different situations, two different relationships, etc.   There isn't just one way for grief to be expressed.  And John's reactions continue to be different: after Sherlock's death he's devastated, but calm enough to give that moving little speech at Sherlock's grave.  After Mary's death he completely loses the plot, becomes angry and violent, rejects the people closest to him (Sherlock and Rosie) while clinging to Mary's "ghost" and is generally heading to destruction (hence Mary telling Sherlock he needs to save him).    It's a different and more extreme reaction all round, and the more extreme, animal grief at the point of Mary's death fits with that.