You all must be right, they must be busy. Or needed extra rest because they've been very busy before their hols.

A music teacher who's never heard you play? All the more reason to show them that you can. If you feel the need to practise if only to reassure yourself,  go to your basement. No shame in that

I really hope that by the end of this week we won't have to see him in the news for a long time.

As for me at the moment, I just broke down and cried and cursed at my computer screen for the last few minutes (and I don't like cursing).  The requirements for my degree were changed this year.  With the courses I have taken for the past 2 and a half years I have been mostly good...but with the way it's set up now I don't have as much of it filled.  And plus what my major is called now there's a required course that would be redundent because it's an introductory film course that I didn't absolutely have to take before (I've taken 4 film courses at this point) and if I had to take it now I probably wouldn't be learning much.  And most of the courses I was looking at for this semester wouldn't count towards it except as electives.  I think it would make me have more than enough electives.  But if I look at the old requirements, there's a class there that I'm not sure whether it's still offered or not.  I don't know whether I'm supposed to finish it as it was described when I first started or whether I have to now fit the new model or get some credits substituted.

And registration for next semester is tomorrow and Tuesday! I am going to see one of my professors tomorrow in his office and hopefully he'll know the answers.  If not I have another professor I can see on Tuesday.  Hopefully by then the courses will still have space...I'm just so frustrated.

EDIT: I looked again and I don't think it's quite as bleak as I thought...but I'm still confused about what I'm supposed to follow.  I should have used the guidance day they had at the beginning of the semester, but I had no idea I would be so confused...so I think it might be fine.

Last edited by Yitzock (November 6, 2016 3:57 pm)

Yeah.  I mean, I know that if I did the four foundation courses from the old model I wouldn't have to do the new ones, but I don't know if the same applies to other stuff.  
I think I will still be able to take the courses I want, just that they won't be counted the way I thought they would be.

Okay. Today literally couldn't have gone worse (I'm in bed now, at my mums place... so I guess there's a limit to what more could I happen...)

After the nightmare I spent an hour trying to calm down enough to go back to sleep... managed another involving a strange dream...

Then on my way to the train I was literally under 1cm from being run over by a car. I was touching the hood when it stopped. The driver cane from behind during a turn and my guess is that they had been distracted... and I think they got a shock, they drive away really slowly... and luckily I walked away too... but yeah...

At the train station I'm pretty sure I saw a man who abused me when I was a little child and he was a teenager. I instantly felt sick and panicky... I tried to go to the opposite end of the train... but yeah. Ugh. I was so close to breaking apart there.

Then I arrived, at my mother's Birthday; having to be nice to the father of that man... I managed that. But it took so much strength to hold myself together.

Mum and I cried a bit more over the dog... and laughed too about good memories after the guests left.

I'm so glad I brought my teddy, Sherly  (poodle; with lots of black curls...) and that my boyfriend was online too during the party... I just didn't use him like I should. I couldn't 'afford' breaking down so I kept playing tough.


Here's hoping I don't have another nightmare at least.


Oh, and to end on a positive note; something did make me smile today! On the train was this little boy and you should have seen his face when he saw the candy advent calendar I bought for mum. His jaw literally dropped and he looked a silent movie comedian going "OMG! That's not fair!!". After that he kept walking back and forth and really slowly passing while looking at it... you could see he was thinking of all sorts of ways of getting it.

I think I met the new Chaplin.

Sorry to hear about the difficult things that you are going through.  I liked your story about the little kid.  That's a nice moment to hold onto.

Last edited by Yitzock (November 11, 2016 10:38 pm)

I'm on my phone, waiting to talk to my doctor's office... I'm now 5th in line and I sort of don't want to get through. 

I am afraid I might have broken or (can you dislocate a septum??) during a nightmare 2 weeks ago... but it's going to sound so stupid calling now, isn't it? I have an abnormal high threshold for pain and I'm on a lot of main meds for my back, so I guess I didn't think it was such a big deal. 

But I wake up every morning with a nose bleed, headaches, dizziness, nausea, and I nearly fainted twice. My nose is sore and I can feel my septum isn't where it used to be. 

I guess it happened during a really bad nightmare where I was kicking and screaming myself awake... 

But yeah, all of that is going to sound so weird when I explain it. Normal people would have gone to the ER when it happened. right? 

I did get an appointment next week, and one tomorrow to get my blood pressure checked. The secretary thought it sounded more like high blood pressure... so we'll see. All women in my family have high blood pressure so maybe it's my time then. 

But I got some really 'bad' news. I had a really nice doctor who I felt comfortable with, and had to tell some difficult things in order to get on the semi-permanent disability... well she's not working at that clinic anymore and the secretary didn't even tell me a name of who my appointment is with. *sighs* 

I guess it can't get worse than the doctor I had before switching to this clinic... he was a disaster. Firstly he barely even looked at you and a session was over in less than 2 minutes. And then there was the time when he locked the door and tested my hyper mobility by holding my hips and made me grab my ankles in a really creepy way (I asked the doctors I worked for then, and it is the way you check the mobility of the spine...) but the entire situation and the way he did it was just *shivers*

Ah well. Maybe it will be okay. 

Not a rant as such I guess.

But I saw my new doctor today; and I already like her. After doing some checks to calm my worst fears she told me my blood pressure might be a bit low; and 'prescribed' me more coffee. XD

I have no idea where you found that picture or why it exists, but I like it! I think that might last a day or two depending on how much one drinks!

I think you can be grateful for it and still not like the inconvenience of it being shut off.  It does disrupt some things in your life.