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I thought this was interesting and wondered if it might spur some talk of bisexuality in general. Since it often comes up in the johnlock conversations.
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Interesting, tonnaree. I wonder why it is that there are hardly any men in the list. Could it be that women are more open about their sexuality?
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Huh... interesting. Both in the fact that 'hey, what's the big deal/good for you, touting that aspect of all those famous people', and also just in keeping it in the awareness of being an okay thing. But pardon me for being a little 'uh.. what?' at Fox's quote - you like girls and guys, and admit it's hypocritical, but don't want to be with a girl who also likes 'dirty' guys? Nice being 'equally loving' of either sex! But yeah, Susi, sometimes I've wondered, too!
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I don't know the answer to that Susi. I suppose it's possible. Or maybe heterosexuality is still considered more of the male ideal? There are lots of out gay men in the media, though, so maybe there's still the sense that you're either gay or straight. It seems historically people have been more open to fluidity or ambiguity when it comes to women's sexuality. At least to some extent. Or maybe it is just more common for women, I have no idea. I kind of doubt that,though.
This list didn't include Alan Cumming! But then again, it was celebrities "you might not know are bisexual" so maybe that's why.
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I don't know most of them, but some of the ones I do know are well known to be bisexual, I thought. So yes, Alan Cumming would have fitted in just fine!
I don't know why there are more women - it could be that women are more out, or that women are more likely to be bisexual, or that women are more likely to identify as bisexual, or even just that people think better of female rather than male bi celebrities so they are more public.
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Here´s another star you might not know was bi.
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SusiGo wrote:
Interesting, tonnaree. I wonder why it is that there are hardly any men in the list. Could it be that women are more open about their sexuality?
I think so but that is surely only one aspect of it. One first hand experience: I have met many gay men who do not really believe in bi-sexuality and who tell you that you need to make up your mind sooner or later. Gay women on the other hand seldom do that. Just my experience, not meant as a generalisation.
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I wonder what's wrong with the idea that human sexuality is a spectrum, just like so many other facets of human biology.
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Here is a nice video on bisexuality and common prejudices:
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ukaunz wrote:
I wonder what's wrong with the idea that human sexuality is a spectrum, just like so many other facets of human biology.
I totally agree.
There are many people, straight and gay, who think that real bisexuality doesn't exist. There are many misconceptions about bisexuality. Another example is the belief that bisexuals can't be monogamous. Of course they can.
I do think that it's harder for men to come out as bisexual than as gay now. So many people see them as just trying to avoid admitting they are gay. Personally I think men are more accepting of females being bi is that they think it's sexy.
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Yeah, I think there's some of that. Some men like to watch women kiss, but they're attracted to them and want to be with them, too.
The irony, of course, is that there are people who say you can't be bi, that you have to make up your mind and pick one...and if those people who are gay, they are the very people who say it's not a choice to be gay.
I agree that more people need to understand that these things are on a spectrum and are much more fluid that they realize or that words allow.
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I used to give lessons on it!
Seriously, well, kind of...
I used to say there are 3 schools of thought:
The Boy George school....he just thinks anybody can be 'made gay'!
The Tom Robinson school, whereby there is a wide spectrum and most people fall somewhere in the middle.
I forget the name I used to put to the other one, but basically it's that you do get people who are totally straight, you do get people who are totally gay...but most people fall somewhere in-between.
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I did not know those people could be said to represent those different ways of thinking, but I guess that would help to remember that there are those different ways of thinking.
For me it's hard to say whether there are more people who fall in between the two or whether straight is still the majority...it's hard to tell since people's ways of expressing themselves have changed over time, as well as different laws or cultural things that change what people say or what they don't tell other people, or just different levels of understanding and ways to express or describe experience.
Last edited by Yitzock (May 31, 2016 4:19 pm)
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I accept what people say on this subject, but I do tend to think of 21st century UK.
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On area we have made a lot of progress with is that kids are coming out more and more at a young age. They still have struggles to face, but at least hey will never spend decades of their lives pretending to be something they are not.
Newer generations are also more accepting of the idea of sexuality on a spectrum. They don't seem to feel everyone must have a label carved in stone.
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Gender and sexuality...good stuff.
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@ Besleybean, you're showing your age with the Boy George and Tom Robinson analogies! But I know exactly what you mean (and I'm showing my age too!).
Oddly enough I found it fairly easy coming out some decades ago. I had some problems in my life at the time, but that wasn't one of them! It wasn't so easy for my girlfriend, and I think there are all sorts of factors involved (mostly to do with the people around you, I suppose). But I agree that things have improved generally, both on the sexuality and gender fronts.
I agree that a lot of people are somewhere "in between", and I think a lot of it depends on definitions. I've tended to say that if you think of yourself as gay = predominantly same sex attraction, straight = predominantly opposite sex, and bi = no obvious predominance. But that's very personal, and I know people see it differently, and that any opposite sex attraction means you're bi rather than gay, etc. I think it's very much up to people to define themselves, if they want to (it's not always necessary unless you want people to know - or you're filling in those monitoring forms you get!).
(I can't see the video as I'm not on tumblr).
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You can also be wrong about yourself...as I kind of discovered!
Only because you suddenly discover something that you didn't know existed!
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Yes. I think at any age, you can discover something new, though I think we all find it at some point. Heck, there are a lot of us who grow up assuming we're straight until something happens or we get to thinking and realize something, whether it's having certain thoughts (or not having certain thoughts) or falling in love with someone you weren't expecting to fall in love with or feel attracted to.
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I don't like labels much. Dunno. I'd never say I'm bisexual... I mean, I would, if someone needed to hear the word. If clarification was badly needed. But no, generally, I think we should just be with who we want to be. Do we like men or women? I know I don't. There are so many men and women, who I don't find attractive at all. And there are persons I find attractive. Sometimes men, sometimes women. I find labels difficult.
Friend of mine is with someone. Maybe it's love, maybe affection, maybe just need? They get asked all the time if they are a couple. They keep saying: no idea, but we're both happy.
I find that inspiring. And yes, it works for them.
But all the time I see how it doesn't work for others around them. Because every second thing we do is build around categories. If he is the boyfriend, he could be invited to come along to the next party. If he is just an affair, no, probably he won't be asked to come. Boyfriend is a category we work with when planning social encounters. But what if there's no label to use?
I know, there is this theory we need names and categories to make sense of the world. I'd even agree on that. It's also comforting to belong to a group, to choose a place to belong, to have a name for your sexual identity. And it's easy to observe though how many people are unsettled by an undefined "in between" sexual identification, struggling to make sense of it.
But when it comes to love, do categories and labels make sense?
I have no idea, to be honest.
When I read fanfiction, I find there are two kinds when it comes to Johnlock.
The first: John discovers he's bisexual, Sherlock outs himself as gay, or clarifies/realises he's not asexual. Now we have them in fitting categories, they get together.
The second: sexuality isn't mentioned or clarified. John and Sherlock fall in love, have sex, just kiss, whatever, and that's that.
I find that difference interesting.
I'm also still struggling with Fox's quote. I don't think it's uncommon though, this thought. I've heard it before.
Last edited by Whisky (June 1, 2016 12:50 am)