BBC Sherlock Fan Forum - Serving Sherlockians since February 2012 » Free Rants

Harriet · January 27, 2016 6:56 pm

I've read most of your posts and they left the impression of a lovely forum friend who keeps being a lovely forum friend over the months and years, thus reliable data.

Lilythiell · January 27, 2016 7:11 pm

Because it is consistent.
I can accept that

This Is The Phantom Lady · January 27, 2016 7:28 pm

Lily, I too know you to be a kind, and funny member of this forum. I always love reading your posts!

Lilythiell · January 27, 2016 7:52 pm

funny? I had no idea. Wish I could see that.

This Is The Phantom Lady · January 27, 2016 8:23 pm

You can be very sarcastic, which I find funny!

Lilythiell · January 27, 2016 9:08 pm

And I don't realise it. But it is nice to hear.
Can't believe I'm funny -I haven't been told...I have been told quite the opposite for years so it's rather hard to...process. But...I am funny.
I feel that's an accomplishment?

Yitzock · January 27, 2016 11:36 pm

I agree with the others. I have found you funny. I like your use of the phrase "a bit not good" for effect at the right moments. And I remember you specifically from the anagrams thread when I first joined the forum.

Schmiezi · January 28, 2016 5:26 am

I am a bit late to the party but let me send you hugs as well, Lily. {{{{hugs}}}}

(I deliberately don't send any advice or stuff with it. I know that sometimes just a hug is what teachers need.)

Lilythiell · January 28, 2016 5:45 am

Thank you, Schmiezi; thank you, Yitzock for the compliment.

After a few hours' sleep -with a few drops of lavender oil to give my room a calmer atmosphere- I feel my body's a little more...relaxed, even though it's still not enough.
Hopefully I won't think too much today.
Well. When I started writing this I wasn't because I was still waking up...now, though...

Zatoichi · January 28, 2016 6:26 am

Oh dear, exams drawing closer and a boiling brain.. that's tough. I hope the convention and nice meetings on the weekend will take your mind off the stress a little! *hugs*

And hugs for you, too, Phantom.. Don't be too tough on yourself, you are coping very well with a really difficult situation. Weak moments happen..

This Is The Phantom Lady · January 28, 2016 8:06 am

I hope you have more energy and feel just a tad better today Lily *more hugs*

And thank you... I struggle with forgiving myself though... I managed to fail again last night. Despite the good news about my economy...

Zatoichi · January 28, 2016 8:17 am

"Get up and try again.. Fail again.. Fail better!" The words of some intelligent young man we all know and adore..
(Hugs) Much strenght to you, I know it isn't easy..

Little Weed · January 28, 2016 6:03 pm

My small charges as well as forcing me to buy shares in a tissue company have decideded they'd be lovely and share for once... I have a cough and all the medicine my delightful other half bought at the pharmacy has stuff I'm allergic to in it...

Other than that my day has been great.

Hugs all round for those who need them!

This Is The Phantom Lady · January 28, 2016 6:28 pm

Hope you feel better, Little Weed!

I already failed again. GRRR. To make it worse is that I want to tell my boyfriend... I know he'll be sad, and probably blame himself... but when he finds out I didn't go to him for help it'll be so much worse.
It's just... he's been struggling lately, and I don't want to add to his pile of problems... and then today he was having a really, really good day. He woke up all bouncy and joyful and I didn't want to ruin that either...

And... hiding it feels lonely, really lonely. And I'm creating this situation all on my own.

Lilythiell · January 28, 2016 7:49 pm

Hope you get better soon, Little Weed.
Phantom, you say that you create this kind of situation on your own...maybe that's what you'd need to work on. Not change who you are, but learn to accept what happened? If you learn to go through that, it may be easier for you to talk about it, and eventually get better.

As for me, well. Not in the most fantastic state -it was less grim this morning because I was more or less still asleep/not fully concious. And then I started to wake up. And later on was faced with a major disappointment in people.
And you know the best news in this? It's not over. Doing the same tomorrow morning. I don't know how other people can do that for a whole week from 8am to 6pm. That's beyond me.
Oh. So that's part of the reason why I've been very angry and frustrated today. Nice to find an explanation.
Does not explain the general...not good feeling I've been having, though.

nakahara · January 28, 2016 8:19 pm

I am so sorry to hear that, Lily.
I hope you´ll feel better soon.

This Is The Phantom Lady · January 28, 2016 8:39 pm

*sends Lily hugs and the biggest cup full of tea*

I hope you get through tomorrow, luckily the weekend is fast approaching now.
Take care of yourself!

And an additional rant from me... I hurt my writing hand, so typing hurts like hell. I am educated in speed-typing and I normally use both hands to type... or my right hand... I can't just use the left one... and I really want to write on my Johnlock ficlet...

Lilythiell · January 31, 2016 5:12 pm

I was supposed to go to a Holmesian meeting in Paris this afternoon.
But as I spent Friday night with friends (though the word is inexact. More than colleagues, less than friends. Can't go for "acquaintance" either) and ended up talking till long into the night, I went back home and went into some sort of hibernation. But I'm still bone tired, I felt too weak this...morning when I roused from that weird slumber and didn't go.
And I still can't be arsed to do anything. At all.
Instead, I'm procrastinating, not even playing on my piano, not even involving in anything Sherlock (be it reading fanfics, writing fanfics, or even watching an episode.)
I got bored of waiting for Pottermore to send me a link to reset my password, so registered anew -I'm a Slytherin -no surprise there- with a Sycomore tree wand. It says in the description that if it gets bored, the wand will burst into flames. So much like me, it's uncanny.
And I still got work to do for the week ahead.

Last edited by Lilythiell (February 13, 2016 4:55 pm)

This Is The Phantom Lady · January 31, 2016 8:31 pm

I'm sorry to hear you didn't get to go, but it's a relief to hear you got some rest at least! *great big hugs from me*

This Is The Phantom Lady · January 31, 2016 9:07 pm

I'm getting really nervous about tomorrow.

Friday I finally told my boyfriend what has been going on with me... We even got into a small fight about it (mostly my fault because I didn't want to hear him blame himself)... we made up and he was awesome. He even supported me when I had to go to my family...
But I know I've hurt him greatly. And I feel so selfish.

He continued to feel responsible... and I wanted to cry my eyes out when I mentioned that typing messages on the phone hurt so I couldn't write as fast as normal... and he went "Even this way I hurt you". Darn it!! He's the light of my life, he's the best thing that ever happened to me. No matter what I go through just looking at his picture can make me smile.

He hasn't had a chance to reach me this weekend (that's normal for us) and I sent him a long email trying to explain why I have my bad 'habits'... Hoping he would see that it wasn't his doing. But I know it's going to be difficult for him to read...

My stomach is in knots, I have no idea what tomorrow is going to be like.