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I've finished my pack not half an hour ago, I'll have to buy some more tomorrow. But yes, nicotine was rather helpful, I have to admit. Once I finally gathered the strength to leave. Could have done with a drink, too. Oh, well. tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow I think I'll do that. Get back to that -well, there's no other word for it than "posh", I expect- place where I had afternoon tea yesterday. My God how out of place I felt being there...And to think I had thought that dressing down to my jeans and t-shirt would be ok...Well, it was, they did let me through the doors and order, but...I felt like I didn't belong.
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It's 3.30 in the morning, and now I can't sleep.
I stayed up till 3am last night painting and looking for my Halloween costume and lost track of time... I did get half an hour of naptime in the afternoon and went to bed early... but I woke up and well... nature needed to be taken care of...
Now I just can't sleep. A spider decided it was fun to hide next to the toilet paper in the barely lit bathroom. I am very aracnophobic and the deal is, if I don't act within 10 seconds I become catatonic.
I suppose it must have looked funny if anyone saw me... knickers around my ankles, shivering and trying to get to murder the thing with the toilet paper... it then fell to the floor still alive and I had to move stuff, bend down and try again...
I HATE SPIDERS!
And now I can't sleep... I'm wondering if there's more spiders in my flat just waiting to come out. Eeew.
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Aw, I'm sorry that you can't sleep. Sometimes relaxation exercises can help you start to feel sleepy. Do you have a book to read? Even if it's interesting, reading can help me get sleepy sometimes, or at least it will occupy your mind with something else.
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The thing is, I can't get anything else into my head... When fear has it's grip on me I can maybe focus on something else for a minute or two but it keeps popping back up.
If I close my eyes I 'feel' spiders crawling on me, and if my eyes are open every shadow could be one... GAH.
Hopefully I'll fall asleep eventually... I have to get up in 4 hours again.
I don't even think Sherlock could calm me down...
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Did you manage to get any sleep at all, Phantom?
Last edited by Lilythiell (August 21, 2015 11:34 am)
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Do you have any relaxing CDs, Phantom? I've got a few at home, even copied them to my ipod. It's not only music, it's a voice leading you through a wood or along a beach and you can also hear birds twittering or waves crushing ... It's wonderful and mostly I fall a sleep after 15 minutes. Even if I can't sleep the voice calms me down.
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I hope you were able to get some sleep, either by reading or listening to music or something else.
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I realised something a bit not good last night.
The suit I intend to wear tonight is navy blue, but the hat I have is black. On the one hand, I don't want to care, because HAT. On the other hand, however...
Still, it's not like those two colours really didn't go well together, I suppose.
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Is it for something official, Lily?
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Oh yes, very much so.
Meeting with the Prince of Denmark
(This does not really qualify as a rant, does it? I meant the colour-thing, not...the reason for the suit/hat combination.)
Last edited by Lilythiell (August 22, 2015 9:58 am)
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I can't even be bothered ranting about this, but it sure does suck when ones husband and ones mother hate each other
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Lily I hope you're having a fantastic time tonight! How could you not?? - and hey, I happen to think navy blue and black goes together perfectly!
ugh. Ukaunz, that sounds like a dreadful sitatuation to be in! I'm sorry
I did 'pass out' a while later... so I did manage to get a few hours of sleep. Last night I got to bed early and slept. I even had a dream about Ben! (on one hand it was hillarious and fun... but thinking deeper about it it was disturbing) ... I hope it's not an omen!
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I feel sick right now.
My 'ex', the horrible man had sent me a message... after what he did on my boyfriend and mine anniversary... he sent me a 'sweet' message... stating that he had heard I was asking for him, and I was welcome to send him a message back.
I responded rudely.
I shouldn't even have responded... but WTF. Will I ever get rid of him???
My boyfriend had a plan to lure him out, sending him an angry message saying that he was giving up, and didn't care anymore... it must be a response to that email.
I am so close to throwing up right now. I just want to be rid of that creep.
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sorry in advance...
the bad feeling has turned into some sort of psychotic break.
Edited by SusiGo
my best friend noticed one of my posts on facebook but I've lied to her and told her I'm okay... she's sick herself and I know she can't handle me on top of it all.
Edited by SusiGo
Why is it so damn hard to get help in this rotten country??
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Mod's note:
Phantom, please try to get help quickly if you are facing such serious problems. Sorry to say but this is not the right place to discuss suicidal thoughts. We cannot help you from here and some people may be triggered or unable to cope with this. I really hope you understand this but you need professional support the members are not able to provide. And please delete or edit your post for the above reasons.
Take care, Susi.
Last edited by SusiGo (August 23, 2015 6:50 pm)
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I'm having my first hangover, they really aren't fun. Ugh!! I've always been lucky that my usual treatment has worked... (not getting to bed before I've had a bottle of water and eaten something salty and fatty, and a bottle of water as soon as I wake up)
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Yeah, too much alcohol isn't a solution for anything.
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Yes, being hungover sucks...try to have some very strong tea. Works for me. And depending on how much hungover you are, try to eat an English breakfast (usually works for me, too).
Oh, and water. Lots and lots of water.
Last edited by Lilythiell (August 24, 2015 7:01 pm)
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Angry at myself for - once again - being with my thoughts elsewhere.
Having an operation in 10 hours (my first ever, oh the fun),
But realised too late that I forgot to get my hands on important documentation.
(Reading the paper stuff exactly one hour ago... yeah, I know, really clever)
This is just me... If they have to cancel and postpone the operation because of it,
I will hate myself for a few days for sure. I am used to that, but still... I really want to get
It done... the operation, I mean...really curious about general anastethia or whatever that is called...
And no constant pain anymore, that would also be awesome.
Wish I was less angry with myself but can't stop it. Also would hate messing up
The doctors timetable (The doctor... lol... HIS timetable I would really like to see)
Do you ever mess up like this? :-) i always do... the heck.
Good thing: if the operation happens, I can read fanfic for the whole day after :-)
I always treat hungovers with lots of milk, lots of water, lots of warm food like potatoes etc.
Works well - the earlier, the better. I usually drink a litre of milk the very night I'm drunk... but I'm
A milk junkie, maybe it's not for everyone :-)
Last edited by Whisky (August 25, 2015 1:55 am)
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Whisky, I cross my fingers that all will be fine nevertheless.
So did you forgot any preparations because you didn't read the papers in time?
I am a "last-minute-person", too. So you are not alone!
Had to write down for two weeks what I had for breakfast, lunch, dinner, in between.... So I did. And read the instructions afterwards. Which means exactly: yesterday.
And noticed that I didn't do it perfectly right. But oh well..... let's see what they will tell me later today.....