BBC Sherlock Fan Forum - Serving Sherlockians since February 2012 » Free Rants

Whisky · July 9, 2015 1:04 am

dear phantom, I keep my fingers crossed for you that you get your medication in time. If the girl in the pharmacy can help you get hold of your doctor, that sounds like a good plan to me.

yitzock... I'm sorry you feel so sad. but I don't think you're a coward. thinking about how to do something isn't being a coward. I really hope you find a good solution... something that will work for you. sometimes it gets better as soon as we have made a decision i think... It's unpredictable. sometimes we just need to do what we think is right, and the outcome is not our fault or doing, there's always two involved.

Last edited by Whisky (July 9, 2015 1:05 am)

Mattlocked · July 9, 2015 6:44 am

SolarSystem wrote:
When I told my boyfriend about those three tickets for "Richard II" with David Tennant in London next January and said "I know, it's totally crazy and unresonable", his answer was: "Why? You work hard for your money and most of the time your job pisses you off, so why shouldn't you spend your money for something that cheers you up and makes you happy?" I almost cried when he said that...

That's exactly what my husband tells me from time to time, when I again hesitate to buy "useless" things. (Education, you know..... Save your money! Think ten times before you buy anything! Etc. etc.)

Aren't they lovely??

@Yitzock I can understand you very well. I don't think you are a coward. There's always the risk she'll turn her back on you, so.....

@Phantom Wasn't there planned a surgery? IMO you need more than pills......
I know the feeling of so much pain that you wonder if life is worth living. And pills might help escaping the "pain circle", but in the long run?? Esp. considering your age....

This Is The Phantom Lady · July 9, 2015 9:18 am

Mattlocked, apparently it's not something that can be treated... one of my discs are bulging out and all that seems to be possible to do is to keep training my muscles and treat the pains with tablets... sadly.
Obviously losing weight will also help, but even then the pains will still be there I've been told.

Mattlocked · July 9, 2015 10:00 am

Is it not possible because of the location?

Me and hubby have (well, he had) the same problem. He couldn't walk anymore, needed a wheelchair, so needed a surgery. Since then he's fine.
I've lost worst of my pain without "a knife".
It is a big risk, but somtimes unavoidable, that's what I know...

Yitzock · July 9, 2015 1:48 pm

@Whisky and Mattlocked It really means a lot for you to say that. Thank you. I just feel like a coward sometimes, because I've kept this secret for three years.

@Phantom That does sound like it would hurt a lot without medication. I hope everything works out with it, that you'll be able to have your medication and be able to deal with it as best as possible.

Lilythiell · July 10, 2015 11:23 pm

Not a rant exactly, but...
Anyone feeling quite a bit down after the high induced by the promo pic and the teaser...or is it just me?
that would explain why anything I write is so maudlin at the moment. God I hate that.

Yitzock · July 10, 2015 11:31 pm

A little bit. I guess because when there's something new there's a rush of excitement and you don't want it to end. I've already watched it too many times because it's all there is for the moment. It's like if I watch it enough times there will be more than before, something new, something I didn't notice, something...but of course there's not. Although if there's a teaser now, something else could be on the way at some point.

Lilythiell · July 10, 2015 11:41 pm

Of course, but "at some point" seems so bloody far away...
As for watching it an indecent amount of times...I'm sure I could do worse. I feel like it's ingrained in my brain and can't (want) delete it.
It feels so weird, so unnatural saying that, but...I wish they'd not given us that Christmas present this early. What I mean is that I really hope that "soon...ish" is just another (twisted) way to play with us , and give us more material quite soon.
Am I making any sense?

Whisky · July 11, 2015 1:52 pm

I feel the same. It's like knowing what it will be like makes the waiting so much worse. That's why I don't like the early stages of waiting, with few pictures. I start enjoying it when there is a lot of stuff coming (like setlock or else), so I don't have to bear the endless silence after such a nice appetizer..

This Is The Phantom Lady · July 11, 2015 5:28 pm

I do recognice that 'low' after a high.... especially a Fandom high... but hey, there's more coming!

@Mattlocked, great to hear you've gotten rid of a lot of your pains!
They haven't told me why, and I still have not been through an MRi. But even my new doctors seem to agree that they can't do more than just have me strenghten my muscles and have my popping pills. (while when I call to get prescriptions renewed they always ask me "What's the plan with these? For how long are you supposed to take them"... well how would I know?)

On the plus side I got my pills! And because both I and the lovely girl at the pharmacy got through to the doctor I now have 2 prescriptions. so I'm set for 200 days!

Yitzock · July 11, 2015 6:00 pm

I'm glad things are looking up for you, Phantom, and that you were able to get your prescription. Hopefully having that will make it easier to continue as normal and taking the next steps.

This Is The Phantom Lady · July 12, 2015 3:12 pm

It's a big relief to have those pills, that's for sure!

Now I'm sick. Sore throat, and I can't tell if I'm running a fever or if it's 'just' my tiny flat overheating because, well even if it doesn't feel like it, we're in July!

Thursday when I went to my last dentist session (and got told by my dentist who seemed rather proud of his work on me the past months that I now have "a nice set of teeth"), I had to go to the pharmacy on my way there (re the already described saga)... and it was in the middle of a mad rain storm that drenched me to the bone.. then I had to sit in a cold train for an hour.
So I'm not surprised I woke up with a sore throat this morning.

Now I'm just hoping it will pass soon.

Last edited by This Is The Phantom Lady (July 12, 2015 3:14 pm)

This Is The Phantom Lady · July 12, 2015 9:53 pm

I feel so whiney tonight, I'm sorry.

Firstly I miss my boyfriend so much. We're in a long distance relationship and he's been away since the 3rd and won't return before the 22nd.
He actually asked me for permission to go away for that long... at first he only wanted to do one of the two things he's doing (working at a kids summer camp, and camping with his brothers family)... I told him to do both, since he so rarely gets to take time off and I know he works long hours and never misses work.

But I'm massively regretting it. I was doing okay, actually even surprised at how well... but tonight I'm just miserable.

I have no way of reaching him, and I just have to tough it out.

He was sad about going, and I tried my best to cheer him up and reassure him (last time he went away for a few weeks was with his ex, and after she broke up with him), and obviously he doesn't need to worry about that.

But I have all the same fears... he's my first 'proper' relationship (despite living apart) and he's perfect for me. He's everything I could ask for... and despite us being a month away from our 1 year anniversary I constantly find myself wondering when he is going to leave me.
Like, I am not allowed to be happy and secure...
As a part of my weird upbringing my mother would take away or break things if I started to like them and I think that's a big part of why...

I don't know... half of me wants him back, prefferably in my arms, physically, and the other half of me is so scared... the more I like him, the more right things he does the more I get scared he'll be taken away from me.

He can be an idiot, and he's human. But he's just so much more than I could ask for... I am dumbfounded every time he does 'usual partner stuff' like sending me a timed message when I had to have wisdom teeth operated out... I'm so used to people not giving a damn. I always had to be the strong one for others who didn't even want to know me.

Yitzock · July 13, 2015 10:56 pm

I can understand why you are afraid of that happening, since life can be unpredictable and it sounds like you have not always been treated with warmth. I think, though, that these feelings will help to make sure nothing goes wrong. If you're that afraid of losing him, then I think you will work hard to make it work, and it sounds like there is respect between you, which is good. Even if it's hard to not have him around when he's away, maybe it will help you to appreciate the time together even more when he comes back. I know that's what a lot of people say, but I think it can ring true.

Mattlocked · July 14, 2015 9:30 pm

Did you ever meet meanwhile?

This Is The Phantom Lady · July 16, 2015 7:29 am

@Mattlocked, no sadly not yet. We are fighting for it... and something in me had hoped that when I was going to London (which is very close to where he lives) that he would be ready...
But things with him is a bit slower than with other people, mostly because of his brain damage and some things he went through.
But we're both working together on getting 'there'. Well, getting him there because as soon as he says the word I am there.

I am being as patient as I can, and I'm giving him time... of course it's not easy but it's not like I have a line of men or women waiting for me to become single (mostly my own fault).

I think I needed this to go slow as well. Because of how my life have been I've got social anxiety, I don't trust people and especially not men.

Every time I met a person I really liked I have always freaked out. I never answered calls or texts if people got my numbers, and the first time a man kissed me I ran away (I was 21).

It's a long, very long process for me to be able to trust someone enough, and just holding hands with someone is a big step for me.

I even purposedly gained weight as a teenager to be able to hide....

But yeah, he's managed to get through that shell. Now I'm just waiting for him.

This Is The Phantom Lady · July 16, 2015 3:00 pm

I really don't want to be sick!

Saturday evening my best friend is having a party and I really want to be there... and she'll need me there too. Her boyfriend just left for Japan and will be away for 3 weeks and she's very vulnerable.

But it's starting to look like I can't make it I think I have a chest infection!

I had to walk to the store today, I was out of very essential stuff and despite taking it as slow as possible I ended up not getting oxygen through and almost passed out on my way home. It didn't help that I passed by some punk who saw it fit to blow smoke in my face.

Ugh. When I sat on that cold train and was all soaked throuh last week I just assumed I'd catch a cold.

I'm back in bed now, drinking lots of fluids and trying to stay warm.

mrshouse · July 16, 2015 3:08 pm

That sounds nasty, Phantom! Do you have fever? Did you see a doctor? Sounds like beginning pneumonia or a bronchitis with spasm. Maybe you need antibiotics or something for inhalation.

This Is The Phantom Lady · July 16, 2015 3:31 pm

I haven't wanted to bother my doctors, and I have no way of knowing if I have a fever, my flat get's so darn hot in the summer and I don't have a thermometer.
If there's no change by Monday I guess I will call the doctor.

I'm trying to get rest, plenty fluids and I'm drinking some stuff that's supposed to dissolve mucus.

If only I could sleep though. But I keep waking up every few hours gasping for air or because I snore too loud

Ah-chie · July 16, 2015 5:29 pm

I collapsed this morning after feeling a bit dizzy. My hubby took me to our doctor and I got an appointment to see her next week. Right now I feel a bit dizzy and unbalanced but fine other than that.

I never lost consciousness but I banged up my kneew and elbow pretty good when I hit the dresser.

I have felt dizzy in the past but never this bad.

Dan was a great comfort to me and made me take action right away (going to the doctor). If I have another spell (or spill as it is... ) I will go to the Emergency department of our local hospital.

-Val