BBC Sherlock Fan Forum - Serving Sherlockians since February 2012 » Free Rants

This Is The Phantom Lady · February 26, 2015 8:13 am

I only get half a sallery this month and my benefits only get in next month...

I will be able to make it okay with food and stuff... but it means unless things changes and I find a job; I won't be able to pay for my London trip to see Hamlet in August

This Is The Phantom Lady · March 5, 2015 9:50 pm

I feel a bit sick tonight...

My guy's PTSD has been really bad lately and I've tried my best to help him (mainly try to convince him to finally let his therapist know how bad it actually is so she can help him...) and other than that, keeping his head above water... it just hasn't been easy at all...
I think the worst part is his guilt... he feels guilty about his breakdowns and that I have to see him like that... and the fear that I will leave him.

(I hate to say this, but I'm actually 'happy' we will be out of touch this weekend... I know it's bad to say this but I really need some rest and not feeling like I'm constantly on standby to save him)

Luckily I think his therapy went great today, and tonight I spent some time trying to get him to sleep...

I went on auto pilot, and tried to make him relax in a certain *cough, cough* way... the thing is, word for word it was something I had done a lot of times before...
Let me just say, it's really bad memories and I felt so sick.

But he fell asleep and is sleeping soundly. Finally!

And I can just lie here, hugging myself feeling bad about myself...

Lilythiell · March 11, 2015 3:42 pm

Well that's it, then. I will just have to stop being sick. fill-in doctor said "when one is sick, one is sick. one is not sick at 3.45 when I'm closing at 4". O-kay. What does that even mean? Can someone with understanding of people please explain it to me? It seems I've made a terrible mistake, but what could it be? I simply don't have the slightest idea. Just know that I must stop being sick.

This Is The Phantom Lady · March 11, 2015 4:11 pm

I really hope you feel better soon, Lily! That's an awful thing to say for a doctor!

nakahara · March 11, 2015 6:29 pm

That doctor should return his diploma, he´s a disgrace. So unprofessional!

Titania · March 11, 2015 6:45 pm

So you have to be ill during office hours.... pathetic from your so-called doctor. I hope you will feel better soon Lily

Lilythiell · March 11, 2015 8:22 pm

Thank you all for your kind words. I am feeling better now and will be able to resume work tomorrow

This Is The Phantom Lady · March 16, 2015 5:55 pm

I'm ripping hair out of my head!!

I have a very important meeting about my future tomorrow... an evaluation of my capability to become a 'real' medical secretary. This could help me get set for life!

They wanted me to bring copie of all of my school papers... and I was in the middle of printing them tonight (yes, I was supposed to do it a week ago, I'm usually in good time and organized!!) the printer jammed... and well, showing up without those papers I might as well not show up at all!

Luckily mum is printing them out for me... which means 3 hours travel time to get them... it's 7pm now, and I have to get up at 5am in the morning.

This is a bit not good...

mrshouse · March 16, 2015 6:11 pm

But what a great chance, Phantom, all the best luck for your interview tomorrow!
Try to relax during the drive, I always listen to audio books when driving my 40 minutes to work.
You'll be doing fine.

Lilythiell · March 16, 2015 7:53 pm

Yes, Phantom, do try to relax. I'm sure it'll be all right
A good cup of tea -or herbal soother, whichever you prefer. Watch an episode of Sherlock. Take a hot bath, or a hot shower. Read a bit. Mrshouse is right, listening to an audiobook might be a very good idea.
Everything will be all right, don't worry !

nakahara · March 16, 2015 7:55 pm

I have my fingers crossed for you tommorrow, Phantom.

This Is The Phantom Lady · March 16, 2015 10:10 pm

Thank you all of you!!

This Is The Phantom Lady · March 23, 2015 10:02 pm

I was at the dentist today (I haven't been in a couple of years before I can't afford it...)

But last night a bit of my tooth chipped off and I had to have it fixed.

Not only was that expensive but the dentist also informed me he would like to operate my wisdom teeth out.

I have been asking to have my wisdom teeth removed for about 10 years. They have hurt so much, killing pain. And my orthodontist even told me there was no space for them in my mouth. This I've told my dentist several times and he just shrugged.
NOW he's found out that unless my wisdom teeth get removed I risk losing a lot more teeth.

The bill is massive... and I'll have to go and beg the state to help me, since I'm on benefits already; and when the rent is paid I have about £10 left.

Russell · March 24, 2015 4:19 am

I'm sorry if this sounds weird saying, but… I couldn't help but have first thought during reading be about what the heck is up with your doctors believing you on this stuff?! Sorry to hear, and hope gets fixed alright!

This Is The Phantom Lady · March 24, 2015 12:03 pm

I'm pretty tired of that myself...

I've just had a chance to change my GP, hoping to finally have more luck being heard.

Russell · March 24, 2015 10:57 pm

But two different ones? Is that a typical attitude? Guess I just can't imagine… been good with that over here, although sure, I know you get all types. My 'general' guy (who I really only need once in a blue moon to check up on this or that) is one of those 'loves to prescribe a drug' types, but that's it, at least.

This Is The Phantom Lady · March 24, 2015 11:23 pm

My previous doctors would have done anything for me. So it's just been rotten luck I suppose... before I moved away from home I had a lovely young woman who took me very seriously. She even managed to get me free mental help!
But when I moved I was forced to change doctors... and ended up with an older man who seems pretty bored with his job. His consultations barely take a minute. He doesn't even look at you and heasn't even bothered reading your file or why you're here.

I was lucky, since there's going to be some changes at my GP's clinic, him splitting up with the other doctor he worked with; I was allowed to change to a new GP without charge. So I'm crossing my fingers! I chose a clinic with lots of doctors so chances should be I can find someone good.

Whisky · March 26, 2015 6:41 pm

Most media coverage of germanwings plane crash makes me sick. And it's hard to avoid.
The plane crash itself makes me feel really really sad and shocked.

nakahara · March 26, 2015 7:29 pm

Whisky wrote:
Most media coverage of germanwings plane crash makes me sick. And it's hard to avoid.
The plane crash itself makes me feel really really sad and shocked.

I hate sensationalist media with passion, but in case of this unprecedented mass murder of innocent people I´m torn... I think it is neccessary for the public to know the reason of this awful tragedy, so that the people would be aware of the risks while traveling by plane.

Whisky · March 26, 2015 7:50 pm

nakahara wrote:
Whisky wrote:
Most media coverage of germanwings plane crash makes me sick. And it's hard to avoid.
The plane crash itself makes me feel really really sad and shocked.

I hate sensationalist media with passion, but in case of this unprecedented mass murder of innocent people I´m torn... I think it is neccessary for the public to know the reason of this awful tragedy, so that the people would be aware of the risks while traveling by plane.

Yes, the public needs information. But I think the actual facts would do nicely.
I cannot understand why any journalist would think pictures of crying relatives are necessary to "inform the public". In such moments, it's easy to see which media does a good, respectful job. Most do not, imo.