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I hope you get to finish your essay, batchlock!
I am trying to eat while watching the Buckingham Palace scene from ASiB... it isn't going so well!
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In an hour or so I'm off to Smeller, a new dog sport (a type of nosework). I train actively with my dog a couple of times a week, Obedience, tracking and nosework.
When I get home, hubby has probably already left for work. So the evening will be spent watching TEH, I think.
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I've collapsed in front of the TV with a pot of green tea, after my 1st day back at work...hubby is cooking my tea.
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I still haven't finished my essay, I kinda have up. So now I'm watching tv. Great.
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Well, I guess some popcorn, light beer and TEH is in order!
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I'm where I was last night... trying to write that email...
But this forum is taking all of my attention... poor, poor man!!
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Never did get to our hockey game, movie and lunch - snowed in, the game was cancelled and the highway was closed. So my hubby and I went for a walk in the -30 degrees C weather and got some groceries and then settled in for an afternoon of watching the DVDs of Sherlock.
Not a bad way to wile away the hours...
-Val
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Aww! I love a bit of ice hockey (watching, not playing). We sort of support the Canucks and the kids have got shirts and stuff. An acquaintance's son (here in the UK) plays pro hockey but I can't remember which N.A. Team he plays for. The Olympics was just the best!
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Rewatched TSoT tonight (rewatching the entire series - again). And I have to say that even though I love the episode immensely for all it's funny and heartwarming scenes (John asking Sherlock to be best man, the stag night, the speech...), the episode is also quite sad, I find. I feel so sorry for Sherlock all through this episode, more than in any other. He does so MUCH for John, in a time where John is "leaving" that it's heartbreaking to see. I cry every time when he plays their walz, I feel so incredibly sorry for him.
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What am I doing?
Messing everything up by the looks of it... I visited the chatroom where I met my guy... where I ran into the man that my guy saved me from.
I should know better... but one word and I'm back to all the old habits.
I guess I'll go and cook dinner and try to think of a way to tell my guy, even if I promised 'master' not to spill the beans.
I should stick to writing on my Irene Adler fic... that's safer.
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Phantom, back off from this man! You found a lovely pal, obviously, whom you can trust and who is good for you! Save yourself this time and show him that those times are over! Virtually if needed.
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I'm not going back to him... I know how bad he is for me. He is really, really bad news!
He just... I don't know. It took one word and I was his. He really has me brainwashed.
Fck. I really thought I had grown stronger. I had actually become human again... confident and so happy with my guy who loved me for me and never would treat a woman like that.
I still don't know what to tell my guy.
Last time this happened I hurt him so much, he forgave me but he's a vulnerable guy it doesn't take much to hurt him... and this is pretty big.
I just don't think I can lie to him.
the man's words just ring through my head "You shouldn't do this... you'll end up calling me 'master' again and have a breakdown and tell him". Pfft.
... Other than that I'm just sat here listening to music trying to jot down some crappy poetry
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Don't blame yourself too much, be patient with yourself even if you failed - things like these take their time for a real improvement.
Just try to learn from it. And do something nice also.
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You don't have to lie but you can omit telling him if it will hurt him. Tell the other guy to F*** O**. Why even speak to him? Block him. Delete him from your life.
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I would LOVE to block him... but blocking him on that site is even more dangerous than when I told him I couldn't be his pet anymore 5 months ago.
Knowing him he would end up getting me into trouble there... and I've got some great friends there... I know my guy would never fall for his cr*p but that man is a scary one...
I spoke to a moderator there (an old friend of mine as well) about what to do about it... she suggested that I created a new account and started over. I can't explain it... but my life on that chat site matters a lot to me.
My relationship with my guy is based on trust, when we met I was one big lie... (I was sort of playing a character on the site) and since I came clean to him we've told each other everything.
Plus he's going to know something is wrong... Anytime something is up and I try to be brave he sees through it.
Technically I cheated on him... and ruined a lot of hard work on his part on getting me back to the light.
I know it takes time to get over the things I went through with that 'master'... I fear I'll never fully get over some of the stuff but what angers me so much is how I almost begged him to pull me under.
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I am trying hard to find a good song to help me continue writing my fic... (wonder if there's a perfect song for Irene Adler beating someone senseless with a riding crop??)
EDIT: Just then I found the right song... 'Mercy' by Duffy!
....
I told my guy the truth. He was pissed, but not at me... poor thing was so worried for me, and for a while I thought he was going to murder the man.
It'll take me a while to make my guy see that he's all I want. He's jut broken about this... but we're working on it.
Though today he told me if I really needed it he could learn to be like that man (though he'd hate to see me hurt by anyone). He's missing every point!! I love him because he's not like that...
He bloody saved me from hell.
In a way I don't feel like I deserve to be forgiven...
But I bloody love my guy.
Last edited by This Is The Phantom Lady (January 12, 2015 8:40 pm)
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It's half 12 at night, I've got a bottle of vodka and I'm watching Sherlock crack videos, giggling like a lunatic. Good times
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Sounds like a great time to me!
I'm still up at nearly 2am. I'm tempted to get my whiskey out and line up my paint supplies and just go crazy.
I've spent tonight editing my Irene Adler fic...
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I suddenly got this urge to watch Sherlock, but I'm at a friends house so I can't do it for a couple of hours. But when I get home I think I'll watch an episode, it has been such a long time ago I did it the last time.
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I hope you had a good time watching it!
I recently watched all the episodes in order! Best way to relax for me!
At the moment I'm working on my fan fic, munching on some lovely cookies and trying to forget that there's a thing called 'work' tomorrow... I just know it will be stressy as heck (mostly because of our new secretary students being too 'posh' to do the tasks they were supposed to do).
I'm also going through my mental record of my last conversation with a Dominatrix online, who I use as inspiration for my Irene Adler fic... Her name is even Audrey and in the fan fic the young woman calls Adler 'Miss A.'.
The Domina knows I'm using a lot of her ideas for my story... not that I couldn't write it without help. But this is good for research.