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I think, he likes her - but he has it under control = )
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Yes, it's so much about control, isn't it? For both of them - the times they slip up are the times when their emotions get the better of them. I think he really believes it when he says that love is a dangerous disadvantage.
I started writing some more about this, but it's about Sherlock's character rather than Irene, so I'll move it over there.
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From my point of view, Irene is Sherlock's best opponent. As others said, she is very clever and can make Sherlock come to the dead end. But she finally has made a mistake by her own heart.
And for Molly, I sometimes ship Sherlolly but I think Sherlock always counts her in his life when he has some problems and needs help from the specialist like her.