These are rather hilarious...except from Milverton:

- Watson let's us know that this is a very unusual story and it has to be shrouded in some secrecy in order to protect people's identities. Color us intrigued, Watson.
- One night Holmes comes in and tells Watson they're about to have a visitor.
- The visitor is a Charles Augustus Milverton, a professional blackmailer who is scum of the earth in Holmes's opinion.
- Holmes has been hired by a Lady Eva Blackwell to deal with Milverton, who is blackmailing her with some old love letters on the eve of her wedding to a super-rich nobleman.
- Milverton comes over and is a friendly looking guy in his 50s. Not typical super-villain material.
- He toys with Holmes and Watson and demands a huge amount of money from Lady Eva.
- Holmes says she can't pay it and offers a lower amount.
- Milverton refuses, and Holmes tries to reason with him.
- Then Holmes springs up, and he and Watson grab Milverton.
- Milverton mocks them and says that he isn't stupid enough to carry Lady Eva's letters around with him.
- He mocks them some more and then leaves.
- Holmes and Watson just got owned.
- Sherlock Holmes won't be beat, though, so he gets to work.

It even gives the stories a "steaminess" rating:

Exactly how steamy is this story?

G

Considering they deal with elopement, opium dens, and even murderers, Sherlock Holmes tales are pretty darn pure – at least, in sexual terms. Not only is the Great Detective himself practically asexual, but his intellectual friendship with Watson comes at the expense of Watson's own romantic forays: practically every story begins with Watson ditching his wife, Mary, and running off to hang out with his best buddy Holmes instead.

While there have been theories for years that there's a little sumthin'-sumthin' going on between Watson and Holmes, you could argue that it almost doesn't matter if there is. The emphasis in these stories – and in Holmes and Watson's own friendship – is on intellectual reasoning and not on personal desire. Of course, we do have to note that, even if the Great Detective himself seems to be sexless, Holmes's clients get up to all kinds of romance-inspired hijinks on their own – there's the elopement of Hatty Doran in "The Noble Bachelor," for example. But even in these instances, there's no explicit sexual content to make your grandmother or your kid siblings blush.