I like Sherlock's take on this in terms of they are a couple and he doesn't really want to sabotage their relationship. Normally a single would respond to the problems of a couple with "not my business" and leave it at that. I get the feeling throughout the episode that Sherlock is going through a process of "letting go" of John, which is completed by the time the next episode starts and he goes "undercover". He's still there for John just like always but he's not going to try to change (too drastically) the life that John has built for himself in Sherlock's two year absence. If Mary were "any other criminal", Sherlock would have singled her out already but he has trouble seeing Mary for who she is minus John. She will always be to Sherlock - John's other. This affects the way he treats Mary.

I like your take on this! I´d prefer it that way.

But I´m pretty sure one of the makers said in an interview that Sherlock did not know about Mary, he did not dig deeper into the "liar" thing because he liked her, just like the audience.. don´t recall the exact source though, sorry.

Be wrote:

We know that Sherlock did research Mary. He just looked at her when they met and I imagine that he did some further investigation or read a file about her (Mycroft's?)
We are dealing with a story telling problem with Holmes here because if he is supposed to be a genius he had to know a lot more than the audience. And the audience sometimes needs a reason why Holmes didn't tell John or the police what he knew.

“Watson is a cheap, efficient little sod of a literary device. Holmes doesn't need him to solve crimes any more than he needs a ten-stone ankle weight. The audience, Arthur. The audience needs Watson as an intermediary, so that Holmes's thoughts might be forever kept just out of reach. If you told stories from Holmes's perspective, everyone would know what the bleeding genius was thinking the whole time. They'd have the culprit fingered on page one.”
― Graham Moore, The Sherlockian

I think it was a good idea to show us the mind-palace or some scenes from Sherlock's memory and we can also appreciate his deductions when he looks at Mary for example, but there is always the risk that the audience gets too much information.
I like how this problem is solved with Mary.
I agree. The interesting question is "Why not warn John"?
Maybe he thought that "John made his bed and he should sleep in it". He chose her. He is a romantic and he didn't want to know when knowledge was offered.
John made it quite clear that he doesn't want to know and that Sherlock's deductions are not welcome anymore. "We don't play this game" in the lab. Showing off, we've discussed... I tried to talk to him...What did he say? F..

Near John's house there is the advertisement board and appropriately we can see: Knowledge is power or if you read the whole of it: Knowledge is power to change.
I imagine that Sherlock just patiently waits and observes because he can't force insight into John when he prefers ignorance.
And perhaps Sherlock can relate to Mary's fear to lose John's admiration and friendship (in Mary's case love, if there is any) when the truth is told.
 

Sorry, but how do we know he researched Mary? I prefer to stick to the facts. He usually deduces people after half a minute and here he has the whole evening to check her out. The only thing we really see is his deduction which takes the usual form with words popping up on the screen. 
True, he seems to ignore some key words, most of all "liar" and we may speculate about the reason for his behaviour but we do not know if he knew anything about her before. 
We see him with Mycroft who tells him where to find John. The next thing we see im Sherlock entering the restaurant. That is all the information we get at that point. 

But he lied in his note to John. I understand his words as saying: "I researched you before we met. I knew all about you and cheated by saying I deduced it. I have been a fraud all along." This is what he wants John to believe which is neither logical nor convincing but it was an extraordinary situation with  Sherlock under emotional stress. That is at least what I believe. 

His non-reaction to Mary could either mean that he knew about her (which does not mean that he is somehow connected to her. It could he mean he knows that John has a girlfriend, that it is serious and that he wants to propose to her on this occasion) or it could mean that he is in a very difficult situation trying to deal with his and John's emotions and simply cannot be bothered to think about Mary.
After he has calmed down he is able to deduce her once again. But why should he do this at this point when he has known about her all along? If he had read a file on her he would have known about her job, her preferred pets, her language skills, etc. It would not have been necessary to deduce it at this point. 
I think there is a difference between not showing something or showing something that has not happened that way. That would be cheating IMO. And it is something that Moftiss have not done so far if I remember correctly, not even with the fall explanations. 
Maybe it is also the fact that I cannot see either Mycroft or Sherlock hiring a killer to protect and marry John. 
 

Last edited by SusiGo (February 20, 2014 10:03 am)

I don't think that Sherlock talked to Mary in the restaurant before he went over to John. She's surprised to see him and it takes her a moment to realize who he is (okay, she could be acting, I suppose she's done a lot of acting... ). And Sherlock clearly has more important things on his mind than Mary (and deducing her) at this point, he is fully concentrated on John, he only gives short glances to Mary, even when she speaks to him. I really believe that Sherlock is overwhelmed by this whole situation, so he's just not interested in her at that point.

When they meet in CAM's office and Mary turns around to Sherlock, we see the word "liar" floating around the room. That to me indicates that Sherlock now all of a sudden realizes the huge mistake he's made. He has not checked her out, he remembers that he already deduced her to be a "liar" and didn't do anything with this information, he obviously ignored it. And now he remembers. Now.
The fact that he knows about the real Mary Morstan when they meet at Leinster Garden would mean that he did a quick research between leaving the hospital and meeting her there. He does have a smartphone, we've seen him doing research on it several times in the past, and I suppose at that point he had a pretty precise idea what he was searching for. Maybe he called Mycroft and asked for his help, but I kind of doubt it...

Be wrote:

Of course it is possible that Sherlock did his research after he escaped from the hospital. I am not quite convinced though. I think we need an explanation why Sherlock accepted Mary at the beginning in spite of his deductions and the circumstances.
Maybe it's just because I am not happy with his apparent sentimentality and his mistakes which are simply not explaned. Maybe I am trying to find excuses for him.

Well, the fact that John kept punching him did put him off his stride, so to speak. If you look back at the way those scenes are choreographed they seem to have been designed to ensure that Sherlock only registered her as an adjunct to John, and not as an ordinary person whom he might have met. Without John's OTT attacks it would have been a different ball game.

I'm not sure that Sherlock was sentimental; I really don't think he killed CAM for sentimental reasons. I think he has a romanticised view of motherhood, insofar as he thinks mothers are like his mother, but that's not quite the same thing as sentimental.

He certainly made mistakes; I would think that anyone who's spent the last two years undercover doing a very dangerous job needs some time to recover, and he didn't get it because he had to stop the Houses of Parliament being blown up. Also, Dr Watson doing the drama queen thing really didn't help; it enabled Mary to make it look as she was the person who would help Sherlock regain John's friendship, which, in turn, makes Sherlock less likely to follow up his initial reading.

I entirely agree that he should have done, but the John of S3 would not have believed him...

Be

I've already written a long screed about education in traditional boys schools in England so I won't bore you with repeating it; to summarise, the boys would have had very little to do with each other during term time. A seven year age difference ensures that; Benedict Cumberbatch went off to boarding school when he was 8 years old, and it is very probable that Mycroft did the same, leaving only one year when Sherlock was a baby at home.

Of course, the boys would see more of each other during the holidays, but not that much; children prefer to play with children of their own age, and parents encourage that, for obvious reasons. I simply don't see the family dynamics in the way you do; Sherlock was under the impression that Christmas chez Holmes would reconcile John to the joys of family, and he presumably wouldn't do so if he thought it represented a living hell.

As to ignoring Mary, I do feel the punches had something to do with it, but obviously he was focused on John...

Willow wrote:

Be

I've already written a long screed about education in traditional boys schools in England so I won't bore you with repeating it; to summarise, the boys would have had very little to do with each other during term time. A seven year age difference ensures that; Benedict Cumberbatch went off to boarding school when he was 8 years old, and it is very probable that Mycroft did the same, leaving only one year when Sherlock was a baby at home.

Of course, the boys would see more of each other during the holidays, but not that much; children prefer to play with children of their own age, and parents encourage that, for obvious reasons. I simply don't see the family dynamics in the way you do; Sherlock was under the impression that Christmas chez Holmes would reconcile John to the joys of family, and he presumably wouldn't do so if he thought it represented a living hell.

As to ignoring Mary, I do feel the punches had something to do with it, but obviously he was focused on John...

You argue under the assumption that Mycroft went to boarding school. Maybe you are right. We just don't know that.
I just look at what we have. And we have just John's opinion that Sherlock wanted a reconsiliation at Christmas. And what we know from experience by now is that John is often wrong.
Why did Sherlock go to his parent's house? To see Mycroft who has more difficulties to say "no" to his parents. Le Mis! He just needed Mycrofts labtop. So he possibly announced that he would see them for Christmas. He needed John to go with him. And for sure his parents told him that Mary was invited of course being his "loving pregnant wife".
Mary's attendance was inevitable for Sherlock. Otherwise John would have to tell them why they don't see each other and we know that John is bad in play-acting.

And if you look at Sherlock with his parents in 221 B you see him sitting in his chair with his eyes closed. As if meditating, closing himself in. Maybe visiting his mind-palace  secretly and tipping his hands on his chair. He is not at all interested in his mother's rant about domestic problems and his father's shortcomings about his spectacles and losing things.
His father is practically as mute as a maggot agreeing with what she says. The devote part of the partnership as it seems.
We don't see that Sherlock actually interacts freely with his mother. She has to force him to listen and the little touch on his cheek was not deliberately received but stolen. He only repeated "promise" after his father insisted and for his father's sake. I assume that his relationship with his father is much more relaxed and warm that the one with his mother.

What we also get is his mother's concern and worry. About what? She actually said it before the door is closed.
It's not about Sherlock's time alone, his health or experiences. No word about that.

WOMAN (quietly): I can’t tell you how glad we are, Sherlock. All that time people thinking the worst of you.
(Sherlock glances round at John, who has walked over to the window and is deliberately keeping his back to the others.)
WOMAN: We’re just so pleased it’s all over.
(Grimacing, Sherlock tries to slam the door on her foot to make her remove it. She doesn’t budge.)
(copied it from Ariane DeVere transcript)

She is worried about what people think. About Sherlock and more so possibly about herself. She is pleased that Sherlock's name is cleared and therefore hers.
Sherlock can't stand this kind of acting for the sake of other people and their expectations. "I don't care what people think." He is possibly raised by his mother with a lot of expectations.

I didn't say anything about Mr. Cumberbatch. I didn't say that Sherlock doesn't love his parents. (Even children in a really abusive relationship with their parents do love them, btw)
 I didn't say that Sherlock had a dreadful childhood. You said that. I don't exactly know what Mr. Cumberbatch said about his behaviour towards his parents. I remember something about pushing them out of the room when your friends arrive. That's a bit funny and not the point I am trying to make.

I just look at what we see and I try to make sense ot it and puzzle the pieces together.
I said that he had possibly a difficult childhood. And that there were possibly childhood traumata (Redbeard and Mycrofts constant scolding about how cross the parents are and that he is stupid).
I analyse what we get.

You can compare his mother's behaviour to that one of Mrs. Hudson when John sees her at the beginning of TEH. I think the writers made a deliberate decision with this contrast.
Mrs. Hudson said funnily:"I am not your mother". But look at what she does. She behaves exactly like a mother with a son who came back after a long time who had to go through a traumatic experience.
She talks to him. She tells him that his moustache ages him which is the truth. She is worried about his health. She asks him why he came. She is actually listening for some time and not constantly talking all the time. She comforts him. She touches him softly on his arm. And John touches her back. They actually look at each other. And if you want to see it that way she has actual insight into his personality (maybe even about his sexual orientation?) because she knows how deeply John is hurt and that he had a difficult time. And they can be silent with each other at the end.

This is a really nice scene of what a mother can/should do. Maybe the writers have an idealised view of motherhood?!
In my opinion it makes you aware of the difference. Nothing of this is there between Sherlock and his mother. You can say that it would be boring to do it again and of course that would be correct.
But the writers have to make a choice about what to do and what not to do. And we are free to interpret what we get.

It sounds like being a bit revengeful. I don't see affection. Just "who dares to hurt what mine".
I got the impression that Mycroft feels a bit neglected, too, when he asks whether he is happy and mentions that there are potatoes on his labtop.
I think we see the happy Christmas scene that is a bit the surface.