Sorry I don't quite get what you mean. Maybe you or someone else can explain it another way.

In the Adler scene, John is cranky because Sherlock has seemed not himself since her apparent death.
In the graveyard scene, John's upset over losing his friend; Sherlock appears pensive in the background.

I can't see what mirrors what. Am I looking at the wrong thing?

I suppose it came out as a stream of consciousness really. I should have stopped to think before writing.

Having experienced pain in believing that Irene is dead, I thought that Sherlock's experession on witnessing John going through the same emotions at his graveside was unreadable.

A shorter explanation and perhaps not such a complete one. I don't know whether it was a deliberate device or not, but there do seem to be several of these symmetries throughout the story arc. They simply add to the enjoyment.