Oh, those tedious deductions! 

Gosh, Harriet, you are killing me! 

Naughty.

Last edited by SusiGo (March 16, 2015 10:07 pm)

Thanks for clarifying. 

Amazing kind of lunch/dinner. 

John is overpowered with ... uhm, "emotions", so he is not able of coherent speech at this very moment.

Finally, the masterlist has been updated! And If I'm counting correctly, there are incredible 459 quotes!!!



Anything else you can do?
I learned the clarinet at school. 
 
Any ideas?
Eight so far.
 
Any ideas?
Seven… so far.
 
Any good?
Very good.
 
Anything on the menu, whatever you want, free.
 
Anything interesting?
 
Are you okay?
Hmm? What? Oh, yeah. Fine. Gas leak, apparently.
 
…and please, keep it simple and brief.
 
Am I a pretty lady?

Ah, I‘m used to it. The whole world is wet to my touch.

Are you wearing any pants?

Anything else I can do? To assist you, I mean?
Some silence right now would be marvellous. 
 
Are we done?
You tell me. 
 
Are you two smoking?
 
Am I a… woman?
Yes.

Am I a man?
Yep.
 
Am I a vegetable?
You, or the thing?
 
Any time you feel like letting me in…
 
Am I supposed to be impressed?
You should be.
 
Are you making me an offer?
A Christmas present.
 
And one should embrace it when it comes – like a soldier.
 
Aren’t there usually biscuits?
I’ve run out.
 
All right, all right, enough! Stand up.
 
And now I’m giving you one.
You take your time. Get yourself together.
 
Are you sure about this?
Absolutely.
 
All of the attention is focussed on me. There’s a surveillance web closing in on us right now.
 
Anyway, you wouldn’t care if it was exposed, would you?
I’m in news, you moron.
 
Authorised personnel only. You are now entering a restricted area.
 
Apologies for the dampness of my touch. You’ll get used to it.
 
A minute ago you were complaining…
 
Am I happy too? I haven’t checked.
 
Aren’t you gonna put one on?
 
Apologies about my… you know… thing.
 
A scratch is almost inevitable.
 
All your little puzzles; making me dance – all to distract me from this.

Bit of an enthusiast, are we?
 
Bloody hell, I heard you were quick.
It’s my job!
 
Baker Street. Come at once, if convenient. SH.
If inconvenient, come anyway.
 
But if you are what I think you are, it will take you less than a minute.
 
But you know how it is: it’s like working in a sweetshop. Once you start picking at the liquorice allsorts, when does it all stop, eh?
 
Bainbridge! Gentleman here to see you!
 
Bit mean, springing on you like that, I know. Could have given you a heart attack, probably still will.
 
Boring, boring, boring, no! Fascinating!
 
Bored. Bored! Bored! Bored!
 
Beautiful, isn’t it?
 
Both ends is too much work.
 
But be honest: you’re just a tiny bit pleased.
 
Busy?
Just occupying myself.
 
Brilliant, ruthless, almost certainly a monomaniac…
 
But what was the point? Why would anyone do this?
 
Come on, John. We’re losing him!
 
Come on. Come on.
Please place your items in the bag provided.
 
Come in, come in.
 
Come on. Got a bit of burglary to do.
 
Could you whisper?
NOT REALLY!
 
Come on. We can do this.
 
Can you not keep doing this, please?
I’m not the first.
What?
Somebody’s been in here before me!

Don‘t worry. Next date won‘t be like this. 
 
Dull, boring, predictable. 
 
Does that make me special?
 
Do you know you do that out loud?

Dear Mr Holmes, I can‘t find Bluebell anywhere. Please, please, please, can you help?
 
Do your research!
 
Don’t worry – this is just stupid.
 
Don’t know how those rumours started.
 
Down, girl.
 
Did you like it?
Erm, no.
Why not? I thought you’d be flattered.
 
Don’t try to trick me. You know who I am. It doesn’t work.
 
Doctor Watson, I know you’re a good man.
Don’t… don’t h… Don’t hurt me.
 
Do you think you could survive for just a few minutes without showing off?
 
Dinner?
Starving.
 
Describe him to me.
You’ve seen him.
But describe him.
 
Describe him.
Short blond hair.
 
Don’t you have something to do?
Just admiring the view.
 
Doesn’t it bother you?
 
Don’t wanna use mine.
 
Don’t move, don’t speak, don’t breathe.
 
Egg?? Chair?? Sitty thing??
 
Er, here. Use mine.
Oh. Thank you.
 
Er, I… right. I should probably tell you…
This is not what you think. This is for a case.
 
Er, no, please. Be my guest.
 
Erm, somebody tiny could-could crawl in there.
 
For God‘s sake!
Oh, shut up. It‘s quick.
 
Found something you’ll like.
 
First test passed, it would seem. Here’s the second.
 
Finished.
We both know what’s coming, John.
 
Fetch it for me – if you wouldn’t mind.
 
Fantastic.
Meretricious.
 
Five people in a row? It’s not chance.
 
Forwards, or backwards?
 
Flirting’s over – Daddy’s had enough now!
 
Go on. Impress a girl.
 
Got your breath back?
Ready when you are.
 
Grownups like that sort of thing.
 
God, I need to sleep.
 
Gay.
Sorry, what?
Nothing.
 
Go on. For me. Pleeeeeease?
 
Get off early, leave ’em laughing.
Wise advice I’ll certainly try to bear in mind.
 
Good news for London, bad news for your carpet.
 
Hi. Look, get over here quickly. I think I’m onto something.

Hey, du! Was machst du?
Minute.

Hey, Sherlock, what are you doing …?
Shh, John, concentrate. I need you to concentrate. Close your eyes. 

He‘s a man, and good at it. 
 
How fresh?
Just in.
 
Hello. I think it’s time, don’t you?

How was that? 
Surprisingly okay. 

How‘s the hip?
Oh, it‘s atrocious, but thanks for asking.
 
Hey, um… do you ever get any free time?
 
How can you not know that?
Well, if I ever did, I’ve deleted it.
 
Hello, Redbeard.
 
Having fun?
Starting to.

Have you come to torment me?
 
Hmm. Oil-based; used in newspaper print, but drawn on with an index finger; your finger.
 
Has it been cleaned off?
 
Hey, Sherlock. How long?
 
How much?
About a pint.
 
443.7 millilitres.

Is that three patches?
 
It feels squishy! Is it supposed to feel squishy?

It‘s all coming out now. It‘s all over.

I can‘t come down, so we‘ll … we‘ll just have to do it like this...

I will call someone. I will have you removed. 

I don‘t mind. 
Me neither.
 
I could do it all day.
It’s an exchange, not a gift.

I'm not the first.
 
I’ve been thinking about you.
I’ve been thinking about you.
 
I had to finish. To finish this work. But it is only a matter of time.
 
I‘m breaking every rule letting you in here. 

I said: Can you pass me a pen?
 
I’ll give you… twelve hours.

I will stop you. 
No, you won‘t. 

I’m sorry. That’s not very professional. 
No. No, not really.
 
I am on the case. We’re both on the case. Look at us right now. 

I need some. Get me some. 

It’s either this or Cluedo.
 
I’ll-I’ll go and see if I can help with something or another.
 
It’s password protected.
I already seem to have it.
 
I don’t shave for Sherlock Holmes. 

I was wondering: maybe later, when you‘re finished … I was wondering if you’d like to have coffee.

I don‘t suppose … um, I mean, I don‘t suppose that you … you wanna have a drink?

I‘ve got two minutes before a Community Support Officer comes round that corner. 

I‘m not supposed to have a problem with that, no, because Sherlock Holmes thinks it‘s a perfectly OKAY THING TO DO!
 
Is that a British Army Browning L9A1 in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?
 
It’s always you. John Watson, you keep me right.
 
Is that the best you’ve got?
 
It’s more common than people think.
 
I can barely contain myself!
 
I just love doing this. I could do it all day.
 
I need to know what bruises form in the next twenty minutes. A man’s alibi depends on it.
 
I can’t see how a tiny splash of tea is gonna help.
 
It was worth a try.
 
I think I’ll surprise John. He’ll be delighted.
 
I’m not in shock.
Yeah, but some of the guys wanna take photographs.
 
It’s chess.
 
It’s just like old times, having you back here.
 
I’ll sleep fine tonight.
Quite right.
 
It was over in a flash. It couldn’t last.
 
It was just a job, you know?
 
I’m sure he’ll be out in a minute.
Oh, like he ever is.
 
I call it Urban Bloodlust Frenzy.
 
I’m a specialist, you see…
 
I have an international reputation.
 
If you’re so keen, why don’t you investigate it?
 
I haven’t told Mary about this, so I kind of wanted to surprise her.
Yeah, you probably will.
 
Isn’t it great to be working with a celebrity?
 
I’ve interests all over the world but, er, everything starts in England.
 
I’m on fire!
 
I enjoy it.
Then why don’t you show us?
 
I’m gonna go and see an old friend.
 
I’m not gay.
Well, I am, and look at us both.
 
I don’t know what I’m going to do now.
 
I’m very, very glad to see you, sir. I know you don’t really do this sort of thing.
Well, I do for old friends, Watson… John.
 
It’s not decent.
Who cares about decent?
 
It’s not as good as your French. Not as good as your French.
 
…if you could possibly struggle all the way to the end.
 
I wish you could have worn the antlers!
 
Is that a brain?
 
It’s too slow. It’s too slow.
 
It never really happened.
 
I’ve missed something, haven’t I?
 
I’ve got a lunch date.
Cancel it. You’re having lunch with me.
 
Is that you?
…exploded into supernovas.
 
I have been reliably informed that I don’t have one.
 
It’s so placid. Straightforward. Barely used.
 
I do think we have a timetable.
 
It only makes sense to put things in there that really matter.
 
I’ll need a bit of time to get ready.
 
I can’t just turn it off and on like a tap.
 
I didn’t know anything about that! All those things!
 
It’s all he ever did in his spare time.
 
It’s over in a split second.
 
I’m here on a legitimate enquiry.
 
It must be so relaxing.
 
I’m not on duty, and I don’t do drunks.
 
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It’s just that sometimes this bloody thing…
 
I think you’re a popular choice at the moment, dear.
 
I don’t know how he does it, so I can’t stop him, and that means he’ll do it again.
 
Inspector, my time is being wasted. Would you mind showing yourself and your friends out?
 
I believe I am in need of medical attention.
 
It’s not like it is in the movies. There’s not a great big spurt of blood and you go flying backwards.
 
I want to know how good you are. Go on. Show me.
 
I’d be happy to pay you a meaningful sum of money on a regular basis to… ease your way.
 
Just this once, dear. 
 
Jeez. What the hell is happening?
 
John, you probably want to shut up now.
 
John, how nice! I was hoping you wouldn’t be long.
 
Just occupying myself.
 
John, you are addicted to a certain lifestyle.
 
Just here, please.
You didn’t even change your clothes.
 
John, it is a tiny bit sexy.
Yeah, I know.
 
Let’s talk about Mary first.
Sorry, what?

Lovely! Sherlock, that was lovely!
Marvellous!

Look, Sherlock, you‘re doing really well. Don‘t give up now. 
 
Look at you, all happy. It‘s not decent. 
 
Lucky guess.
I never guess.
 
Listen to me: I am not gay!
 
Let me examine this body.
 
…like a meat… dagger
 
Ladies and gentlemen, there will now be a short interlude.
 
Maximum pressure just under the half second. 
 
Mind if I check?
Oh, I insist.
 
Mundane is good, sometimes. Mundane works.
 
Mmm. You realize we’ve hardly stopped for breath since this thing started?
 
Mmm, on schedule.
 
Mary likes it.
Mmmmmm, no she doesn’t.
 
Must have dressed in a hurry this morning… so all your shirts must be kept like that.
 
Mr. Holmes, you’re going to be incredibly useful.
 
My friend… will you not take any of the credit? This was all down to you.
 
Now, have you got a first aid kit?
 
Nobody thought so – nobody except me.
 
Nurse, press here – hard.
 
No. It‘s really sore. 
You‘re mental you are. 
 
No? Okay, my turn. 

Now, where is it?
What?
You know what. 
 
No, no idea, sorry.
 
Nothing indiscreet. Nothing you’d feel… uncomfortable with.
 
No rush!
 
No, this is special, let’s take it slowly.
 
Now would be good!
 
Not now. I’m busy.
…Sherlock.
Not now!
 
Nice touch.
I haven‘t pulled rank in ages.
Did you enjoy it?
Oh yeah.
 
No, no, it’s obvious! That’s how he did it!
 
Now? Seriously, months of silence and we’re gonna do this now?
 
Now, shall we finish the game? One final act.
 
Now people will definitely talk.
 
Not exactly Fort Knox.
Right, thank you.
 
Oh, you're rather good. 
You're not so bad. 

Oh, please, can we not do that this time?
Do what?

Oh no, please.
Mind if I get that?

Oh, it‘s Christmas. 

Oh, Sherlock. 
Did I do it wrong?
 
Oh! Brilliant!
Thought it was gonna be a dull evening…
 
Oh, come on, love. Don‘t be like all the rest. 
 
Oh, no, you can’t come in here!
I’m looking for a friend. A very specific… friend.
 
Oh. That was mild. People say a lot worse than that.
 
Oh, my God. Greg? Is that Greg?
 
Oh, go on. It’s been an age.
 
Oh, John, I envy you so much.
 
Okay. Your way. Always your way. 
 
Oh, Sherlock. What have you done?
 
Ow!
Thank you. That was – that was…
 
Okay, you two bad boys. Behave yourselves.
 
OK, stop, just stop! Point made.
 
Oh. Well, I help out a bit.
Closer.
 
Oh, Sherlock. The mess you’ve made.
 
Of course. I am a show-off. That’s what we do.
 
Oh, that’s a corker. It’s very saucy.
 
Okay, this is too much. We need to be more careful.
What do you mean, more careful?
 
One can only hope you’re as good as you seem to think.
 
Oh, I know exactly where I’m going.
 
Obviously I can straighten things up a bit.
 
Oh, we’re done waiting!
 
Oh, that’s clever. Is it clever? Why is it clever?
 
Okay, I’ll prove it. Give me time. Will you give me time?
 
Oh my God, oh my God. Do you have any idea what you’ve done to him?
 
One little push, and off you pop.
 
One hole, or two?

Part two is more action-based. 

Please, do relax. This is all for a case.
What kind of case would need you doing this?
 
Private property. Keep out.
 
Pointless. You’ll never find him. But I know a man who can.
Who?
Me.
 
People seem to like it – humanises me.
 
Play the music again, please, thank you.
 
Put this on.
 
Pine?
Spruce?
Cedar
New mothballs
 
Really! Manners!
 
Right, I just… I need a moment to figure out what I’m going to do.
I can tell you what you can do.
Okay. Okay, I’m ready now.
 
Right, this should do it.
 
So what do I… what do you want me to do at the end? Shall I, um, smile and wink?
 
Sherlock, wait! We’re going to need to coordinate.
 
Solving crimes won‘t be enough. One day he‘ll cross the line. 
 
See? This one shines a little brighter. 
 
Sorry, John. I win.

So I‘m basically filling in for you skull?
 
So… this is all your stuff.
 
Sherlock, do we have a plan? Sherlock?

Still has trust issues.
 
Sherlock, the showing-off thing… we’ve discussed it before.
 
Sex doesn’t alarm me.
 
Sergeant Donovan.
What about her?
Said you get off on this. You enjoy it.
 
Sherlock. Let’s go.
You go. I’m busy.
 
So just tell me, what are we dealing with?
Something new.
 
So, my friend. Now it’s just you and me.
 
Stupid idea. Whose idea was that?
 
Something big’s coming, isn’t it?
 
Seriously, it’s not a joke?
 
Started young, didn’t you?
 
…something I couldn’t get out of my head.
 
So, it’s all about one thing now.
 
Stop talking now.
 
Sorry, one more. Whoops! So sorry! Thank you!
 
Stop-stop panicking.
I’m not panicking.
 
Sounds like a good place to start.
Ah! You’ll come down, then?
 
So, what’s this one? "Belly Button Murders?"
 
Sherlock, what’s going on? What’s happening?
I’ve lost him. I don’t know what…
 
Should I be making notes?
If it makes you feel better.
 
So what d’you think? Shall we?
 
Short version: not dead!
 
Shouldn’t worry – I’ll probably get one soon.
 
So did you find it eventually, your lottery ticket?
 
Still, bit of a risk, isn’t it? Here?
 
*This* is a risk.
 
"The Navel Treatment"?
 
The police don’t consult amateurs. 
 
This guy here had a trick he used to do. 
 
This is different. It’s an ancient device.
 
…three times a day, tell your friends. Tell anyone!

That, ah— thing that you did. That you, um, you offered to do. That was, um... good. 
 
That was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever done.
 
This is a matter of the highest security, and therefore of trust.
 
Trouble is, your friends all think you’re acting.
 
Thank you, Mister Holmes. Open it, please.
 
This is how I want you to remember me.
 
This is what I do to people. This is what I do to whole countries.
 
This isn’t agreeing with me.
 
Thank you, John!
Molly.
Yes.
 
Thank you for bringing this to my attention. It’s very promising.
 
This is your living, Sherlock – not two hundred and forty different types of tobacco ash.
 
They’re greedy, and they’ll do it again, and next time we’re gonna catch’em in the act.
 
There will always come a time when we need Sherlock Holmes.
 
The best and bravest man I know – and on top of that he actually knows how to do stuff.
 
That’s all it takes: one lonely and naive man desperate to show off.
 
There you go. Go find out where he is and pick him up.
 
That’s right – you warm yourself up. I made everything nice and cosy for you.
 
This is a young man’s gadget.
 
This is hard.
What?
Really hard. Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
 
This is a matter of national importance. Grow up.
 
This is good news, John. It’s-it’s-it’s good.
 
Take a look at where you’re standing and make a deduction.
 
Then I choose for you, and I force it down your throat. Right now there’s nothing you could do to stop me.
 
Time to choose a side…
 
That’s how you get your kicks, isn’t it?
 
Up a bit! I’m not talking from down here.
Okay, just take it, take it.
 
Um, you’re not phoning… him, are you? Cause we can handle this. We can absolutely handle it.
 
Umm… special day… very special day…
 
Uh-huh. I’m on it, yeah.
 
Unexpected item in bagging area. Please try again.
 
Visible above the waistline – very visible; very particular brand.
 
Want me to go on?
Er, no. I think you’ve covered it.

Where are you?
Stay exactly where you are. Don‘t move. Keep your eyes fixed on me.

What the hell is this? Chocolate?
 
What the hell am I supposed to say to that?
 
Will you please move your hand?
I long, my darling, to know the touch of your ... body.
 
Wanna see some more? 
Oh, God, yes. 
 
Watch. Don’t interfere.
 
Wakey, wakey!
 
Well, where else was I supposed to put it?
 
We‘re gonna get caught.
No, we won‘t.
In five minutes.
Well, not just yet. 

What are you doing?
Going into battle, John!

What are we doing here, Sherlock? Seriously, what?
I don't know.
 
Who are you? What do you do?
What do you think?
 
Would you like …
… to have dinner?
 
Well, that was tedious. 

What‘s wrong with my hand?
 
Where is this item now?

Why are we doing this? We never do this.
 
Why didn’t I think of that?
Because you’re an idiot.
 
We’re gonna have to move fast. This phone battery won’t last for ever.
 
Well, this could be very nice. Very nice indeed.
Yes, I think so. My thoughts exactly.
 
With love and many big squishy cuddles.
 
When did we agree that?
We agreed it yesterday. Stop! Closer!
 
What are you doing here?
As ever, I’m concerned about you.
 
What sort of case?
Too big and dangerous for any sane individual to get involved in.
 
What am I looking for?
The impossible. The one impossible thing.
 
What’s going on?
This is hard.
 
Well, maybe next time I’ll let you kip at the end of my bed, you know.
 
What about Mycroft? He could help us.
A big family reconciliation? Now’s not really the moment.
 
What? Cameras? Here? I’m in my nightie.
 
Well, I can play it for you if you like.
 
We have kept a lot of people successfully in the dark about this little fact…
 
Well, we’re in a good place. It’s, um, very affirming.
 
What? Are you out of your mind?
 
What was today about?
Saying thank you.
 
Where now? The Gallery?
In a bit.
 
Well, you could just sit there and watch telly.
 
What’s tonight?
I’ll text instructions.
 
Well, there’s-there’s-there’s something here. Um, wasn’t sure whether I should have kept it in.
 
What is going on?
Bloody good question.
 
What do you need?
You.
 
What have I done that’s so bloody stimulating?
 
Works for me.
Everything works on you.
 
Why didn’t you come to me in the first place?
 
Why?
Because I was invited.
 
What’s the matter with you?
There is nothing the matter with me.
 
Well, of course it’s for men! I’m wearing it!
 
Well, short version…
 
Well…?
 
Well, thank God you’re above all that.
 
Wh… There was a moment that kind of stuck in the mind, yeah.
 
You know, for a genius you can be remarkably thick.
 
Your inbox is bursting!

You being funny now?
Thought it might break the ice a bit.
 
You should get yourself a hobby - stamps, maybe. Model trains. Safer. 
 
You‘re wearing lipstick. You weren‘t wearing lipstick before. 

You know how most days aren‘t good days?
This is a good day. 

You need to get it out. 

You know, I honestly expected something good. 
 
You know you never let me touch your things!

Your hand is sweating. 
Always, I‘m afraid. I have a condition. 
 
You need to fall on your back!
 
You‘re gonna be all right. It‘s over now. It‘s over. 
 
You blacked out?
What? No. No!
 
You’re very quick, Mister Holmes.
 
You’re a bit – well, over-qualified.
 
…you’re very resilient. Most people would have passed out by now.
 
You think maybe you could keep your voice down?
 
You don’t even know my name.
 
You think we should sniff around here a bit longer?
 
Yeah, it’s getting a bit scary now.
 
You’re a great boyfriend.

You are. Proper genius.

You and I – we barely scratched the surface.
 
You may need to restart my heart on the way.
 
You realise this is a tiny bit humiliating?
It’s okay, I’m fine.
 
You’ve only been out for about ten minutes. You’re strong. I’m impressed.
 
You’ve seen the act before. How dull for you. You know how it ends.
 
You know what I do. Off you go.
 
You got that from a book.
 
You should always use gloves with these things, you know.
 
Your mother has a lot to answer for.
Hm, I know. I have a list. Mycroft has a file.
 
You’re a graduate chemist, can’t you just work it out?
I like the practical experience.
 
You fire away.
 
You‘ve only started recently, because you’ve got a bit of chafing.
 
You can do what you like here. No one’s ever going to stop you.
 
Yeah, it’s faulty. Can’t seem to fix it.
 
You okay, love?
 
You’re going to love this.
Love what?
 
Yeah, we’re loo… we’re looking for a-a-a-a dwarf.
 
You tend to rub ’em up the wrong way.
 
You gonna be long?
I might be.
 
Yeah, this is more fun.
 
You don’t seem very afraid.
You don’t seem very frightening.
 
You’re under stress right now and your hand is perfectly steady.
 
You asked me to come. I’m assuming it’s important.
 
Yeah, he just took off. He does that.
 
You see? It’s nicer than you think.
 
Your back, now, please!

Last edited by Pav (March 18, 2015 1:38 pm)

  You are my hero, Pav! 

What can we say but THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH?

(Perhaps that there are quite some more already, only needing to be checked for doublets?  )

Ah, Pink, Source of Endless Delight! 

(Yeah, I'm confident we make it!)

Confident!Sherlock