BBC Sherlock Fan Forum - Serving Sherlockians since February 2012 / D'you think Sherlock has ever had a girlfriend?

**Posted by Sherlock Holmes** February 10, 2012 1:02 pm

Maybe at Uni? I can't imagine it though...it wouldn't last two minutes the way he is...maybe he's a virgin?!

**Posted by kazza474** February 10, 2012 9:18 pm

What purpose would a relationship with a member of the opposite sex have? It is of little use really and one cannot clutter one's hard drive with such frivolity.
A waste of time if you ask me.
Holmes is asexual , no longings for either sex in any deeply emotional way.

**Posted by drummerchickSH** February 11, 2012 7:56 am

John :D

**Posted by Davina** February 12, 2012 8:43 pm

No.

**Posted by Sherlock Holmes** February 16, 2012 10:57 pm

And come to think of it - there's that scene in Belgravia when they're talking about Irene being a dominatrix and Mycroft tells Sherlock not to be alarmed, and he says "sex doesn't alarm me" and Mycroft says "how would you know" or something like that...and Sherlock looks a bit put out...indicating that he probably hasn't had any relationships before.

**Posted by imane nikko** June 22, 2012 10:14 pm

It seems pretty clear that he's a virgin, but I don't think he's asexual. Or, at least, it's not clear that he is. After all, he "knew where to look" with Irene... hard to imagine him predicting that her measurements would be useful.

My read on the character is that he's sublimated anything that might be distracting, which includes sex. He doesn't want his brain out of his control. That's why he was so upset by feeling fear in Hound, and that's why he's avoided relationships. He might enjoy one physically, but it wouldn't be worth the mental price.

**Posted by ancientsgate** June 23, 2012 1:07 am

kazza474 wrote:
Holmes is asexual , no longings for either sex in any deeply emotional way.

I've heard (read?) you say that before. I don't agree, mostly because of his interest in and attachment to/for the dominatrix woman character. I don't know that he ever "did" anything with her, but it was pretty clear the writers wanted to show that he's straight, he has eyes in his head to appreciate a good set of boobs, and gee, maybe there really IS a woman in this world that might not bore him to death.

Would someone with absolutely no dating experience have jumped to the conclusions he did with John, that maybe John was interested in him, and then have the verbal skills to go on to tell him, "I'm married to my work... I'm flattered and all, but...."

I think there are very few truly asexual people in this world. We're meant to be sexual, after all. Even Moriarty said, "Maybe I'll get me a live-in one..." lolololol

I for one am *thrilled* that the show is about his work and his friendships and not what he gets up to with his dick-- so different from most episodic TV these days.

**Posted by ancientsgate** June 23, 2012 1:11 am

drummerchickSH wrote:
John :D

Heh. I thought that when I saw this thread, about John-- reminds me of that old Beatles remake song "'Til There Was You." Sherlock has made it clear IN CANON that he has no objection to the idea of someone being gay, for what that's worth, maybe nothing. I can see him not worrying about, it if he found himself attracted to someone unexpected-- in fact, knowing what we know about his personality make-up, I think that'd be part of the sparkage for him, if he suddenly found himself face to face with someone who really, for once, really did it for him. And John fits that bill, in my little slashy mind. But then, so did Irene Adler.

**Posted by ancientsgate** June 23, 2012 1:14 am

Sherlock Holmes wrote:
And come to think of it - there's that scene in Belgravia when they're talking about Irene being a dominatrix and Mycroft tells Sherlock not to be alarmed, and he says "sex doesn't alarm me" and Mycroft says "how would you know" or something like that...and Sherlock looks a bit put out...indicating that he probably hasn't had any relationships before.

I just thought that was one brother yanking the other brother's chain.

**Posted by ancientsgate** June 23, 2012 1:15 am

imane nikko wrote:
My read on the character is that he's sublimated anything that might be distracting, which includes sex. He doesn't want his brain out of his control. That's why he was so upset by feeling fear in Hound, and that's why he's avoided relationships. He might enjoy one physically, but it wouldn't be worth the mental price.

He doesn't even eat, for crying out loud. Or sleep, as far as I can tell.

**Posted by Sentimental Pulse** June 23, 2012 1:22 am

Until Irene..no. But he is visiting her in the witness protection location he smuggled her safely to..They meet for glorious trysts once a month, and no one else has any suspicions!

**Posted by Sherlock Holmes** June 24, 2012 9:26 pm

Yeah I definitley think he's still a virgin and I don't think he's ever had a girlfriend or boyfriend...

I do wonder whether he's ever even kissed anyone though....

**Posted by Maren** June 25, 2012 1:13 am

Sentimental Pulse wrote:
Until Irene..no. But he is visiting her in the witness protection location he smuggled her safely to..They meet for glorious trysts once a month, and no one else has any suspicions!

Blabbermouth!

**Posted by kazza474** June 25, 2012 3:53 am

ancientsgate wrote:
kazza474 wrote:
Holmes is asexual , no longings for either sex in any deeply emotional way.
I've heard (read?) you say that before. I don't agree, mostly because of his interest in and attachment to/for the dominatrix woman character. I don't know that he ever "did" anything with her, but it was pretty clear the writers wanted to show that he's straight, he has eyes in his head to appreciate a good set of boobs, and gee, maybe there really IS a woman in this world that might not bore him to death.

Would someone with absolutely no dating experience have jumped to the conclusions he did with John, that maybe John was interested in him, and then have the verbal skills to go on to tell him, "I'm married to my work... I'm flattered and all, but...."

I think there are very few truly asexual people in this world. We're meant to be sexual, after all. Even Moriarty said, "Maybe I'll get me a live-in one..." lolololol

I for one am *thrilled* that the show is about his work and his friendships and not what he gets up to with his dick-- so different from most episodic TV these days.

Asexuality does not preclude a person from having interest in another person of either sex. It comes in many forms. Asexuals CAN have romantic tendencies without feeling the need to 'validate' them with any sexual involvement just as much as they CAN show interest in someone's beauty or talents, again with no desire to take it further. What we see with Sherlock's reaction to Irene is an interest that grows into an admiration for her mental strength & prowess.
It's estimated that there are about 1-2% of the population who are asexual. That equates to quite a few people. I do not believe 'we are supposed to be sexual'; to say that would mean you are saying asexuals 'aren't what they should be' and that's certainly not something that should be said of anyone.
I'd take that as saying 'you're not normal' merely because of the life choices one makes.
All indications do point to Sherlock being asexual & nothing really has contradicted that so far.

**Posted by imane nikko** June 25, 2012 4:16 am

I guess it depends on what "fancy" means. I always thought this quote, from an interview with Steven Moffat (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/2012/05/03/sherlock-season-2-steven-moffat_n_1472139.html), was very straightforward as to the writers' intentions:

"Sherlock Holmes never really says in the original stories that he doesn't have emotions; he says that they get in the way. And he's right. He can't function around Irene Adler and he doesn't even realize that he fancies her. He doesn't realize that that's what it is."

That doesn't sound like they're aiming at an asexual character to me. I think what they're doing is something more interesting -- someone who gives up sex for a higher cause, rather than someone who never wanted it in the first place.

**Posted by hepzibah** June 25, 2012 4:47 am

Benedict says in an interview that Sherlock is just too busy to have sex

I'm paraphrasing here but isn't there a scene in SiB when Sherlock says if he wants to look at naked women, he would borrow John's computer and John says something like "You DO borrow my computer".(snicker). We know John is more or less straight because of all the girlfriends and I would like to think that Sherlock has tried sex with either men or women and decided that it's just not worth the trouble because the body is just transport (he should try an Aussie chick, wait, did I just type that out loud!)

**Posted by kazza474** June 25, 2012 4:52 am

There is a big difference between 'fancying' someone and wanting to have a sexual relationship with them. You are comparing apples with oranges.
Truthfully, asexuality is a very misunderstood sexual orientation.

**Posted by imane nikko** June 25, 2012 5:18 am

Another quote from Moffat, from this Guardian article (http://m.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2012/jan/20/steven-moffat-sherlock-doctor-who?cat=tv-and-radio&type=article):

"It's the choice of a monk, not the choice of an asexual. If he was asexual, there would be no tension in that, no fun in that – it's someone who abstains who's interesting."

**Posted by kazza474** June 25, 2012 5:27 am

Then I beg to differ greatly on Moffat's knowledge of asexuality.

**Posted by sherlockskitty** June 25, 2012 6:09 am

oh. well in Scandal, Irene said that Jim refers to Sherlock as the virgin. I've seen MANY versions of Sherlock Holmes, and read the stories, and I just get the impression that Sherlock doesn't have the time for those pleasures that one gets when one does it. Either that, or he doesn't wanna be bothered. And, this may be just me, but....that's the way I like him.