Okay - here's what I've got - anything to add? I'll probably put it on my Tumblr too ;)
Things You Might Have Read in a Johnlock Fanfic
• Sherlock sees EVERYTHING unless it's inconvenient to the plot that he does so.
• Sherlock will refer to John as “MINE” or “MY JOHN”.
• Biting. Someone will bite someone else, on the neck or the collarbone. Often as they come.
• Sherlock’s lips will be referred to as “perfect cupid’s bow”, usually in John’s thoughts.
• John will be self-conscious about his bullet wound scar; Sherlock will be unabashedly fascinated about the scar.
• Sherlock will lick and/or kiss the scar; often having been waiting for a long time for the opportunity. John will find that Sherlock licking/kissing his scar is a turn on.
• Sherlock’s body and/or behaviour will at some point be described as Byronic.
• Sherlock’s body will be described as marble, but warm; or a greek statue, but warm. John may be surprised that he is warm (???)
• They live on a constant diet of toast, tea and take-away (the TTT diet?). They somehow become neither anaemic nor contract skurvy
• They don’t do dedicated exercising, such as going to the gym. They keep themselves trim, taught and terrific just by chasing bad guys around London’s street and rooftops. This ‘fact’ is often referenced.
• Someone will say “Oh God, yes”. Often to the suggestion of sex, or some kinky variation thereof.
• John will have an oral fixation
• At some point, you may see the phrase “<name> released the breath he hadn’t realised he was holding”
• John and Sherlock will touch foreheads together; this is often accompanied by them “breathing each other’s air”
• There may be a dissertation from one of them regarding what makes up the others scent. This will often include "and a <adjective> scent that is uniquely <name>'s"
• Occasionally you will see nicknames such as Sherly, ‘Lock, ‘Lockie, Myc, Mye or Johnny. And you will despise them on sight.
• If for any reason sheets are discussed or described, John will use standard cheap linen and Sherlock will use some kind of very expensive Egyptian cotton and/or silk. No idea why.
• If Mycroft is in the story, he will be omniscient, omnipresent, and have a black town car within about 5 minutes of wherever Sherlock and John are. He will also live in a large expensive townhouse with staff, but is rarely there; spending his time at work or the Diogenes club. Sherlock can break into said house and bypass any security system. Mycroft can also fix anything, including creating alibis and licences for firearms out of thin air; backdated.
• If Victor Trevor is a character in the story, he is either an ex-bf (good guy) or an ex-bf (abusive) but either way, there was sex. He may also be the guy who introduced Sherlock to cocaine.
• If Sebastian Wilkes is in the story, he is often either an ex-bf (abusive) or the guy who introduced Sherlock to cocaine; often both
• If Mary Morstan is in the story, she will be whomever the author wants her to be for the sake of the plot, conveniently forgetting that in canon she met John whilst they were on a case, and never had an issue with the amount of John's time Sherlock claimed
• If Sebastian Moran is a character in the story, he is butch and blonde; and an ex-military mercenary sniper.
• If Sherlock’s drug addiction is part of the story; he got hooked in uni and got clean thanks to Lestrade, despite Mycroft’s numerous attempts previously to get him clean. There are often overdoses referenced. Mycroft's heavy-handed attempts for getting him clean are often the reason for their estrangement in a story of this nature.
Last edited by Wholocked (September 26, 2013 6:55 am)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I dislike being outnumbered. It makes for too much stupid in the room
tonnaree wrote:
and it made my day thank you
I would probably also succumb to using some of the clichés, if I were writing fanfic.