SolarSystem wrote:

Schmiezi wrote:

I love John but I do not feel the need to be loyal to his in my mind terrible choice.

Exactly. Or to be more precise: I consider myself to be very loyal to John in wishing that a woman who has lied to him and hasn't been honest to him about her past and true identity and who has shot his best friend will no longer be a part of his life. Because he deserves better. Much better. It might be painful at first, but in the long run it'll be the right thing.
 

I completely agree with you.

besleybean wrote:

I really don't know if we can make those judgments for other people.

For fictional people we can, I'd say

That's what I call a crosspost, Schmiezi.

besleybean wrote:

Well I guess it depends if we feel we want to bond with characters or not.
I personally don't find it very bonding to criticise John's choice of wife and not see how much he loves her.
We will have to see how this pans out.

Be loyal to John´s choice of a partner which is a) uninformed (he doesn´t even know who that woman is) and b) unreasonable (he chooses a murderer for wife)?

Why not be equally loyal to Sherlock´s choice of doing drugs, then? It´s also a choice of a lifestyle + it´s less harmful in the long run (kills just one person, Sherlock himself, while Mary can kill countless)....
 

We can't help but have opinions about the actions of the people in our lives.  As a matter of fact, the more you love and care for someone, the stronger your opinions are likely to be.

It hurts to see someone you love make bad choices or do things that you believe will damage them in the end.  It doesn't lessen your love for them or mean you won't support them when they need you.  But it also doesn't mean you can't lovingly express your opinion and give them advice. 

For me it's the same with character's I love.  It's very upsetting to see them make what I believe are wrong choices or do what seem to be bad things.  To me that shows that I am more bonded to them, not less.

For me loyalty has nothing to do with agreeing with everything a person does or decides. It can indeed be a sign of loyalty to have the courage to tell someone that he/she might have made a wrong decision. What good is a friendship, generally speaking, if your best friends can't be honest with you?

I don't see how we can know if Mary is a good choice or not seeing as we know nothing REAL about her.

And in that case I am perfectly happy to wish him that his eyes will be opened in S4.

besleybean wrote:

So far John seems perfectly happy not to know.

Because we were informed he would stop loving Mary if he knew the whole truth about her.
If only his ignorance can keep him by Mary´s side, then his choice cannot be called good, IMHO.
 

You cannot deny that it is a relationship built on lies.