It seems I see Sherlock less negative than you do. After all he practically jumped into a fire to save John's life. We never hear John say thank you for that but assuming at once that his kidnapping was somehow connected to Sherlock. 

SusiGo wrote:

Why does it bother you? I do not mind him mentioning it at the wedding. It was a big moment of truth for Sherlock and he wanted to say everything about John he deemed important. 

Sherlock has nothing to apologize for and he keeps apologizing for it. Enough already. The more guilty he acts, the more that gives John permission to berate him when John is emotionally stressed. The most dramatic scenes being, of course, beating up Sherlock in TEH and then threatening to hit him in the Baker Street scene before Sherlock collapses ("You will not need morphine."), all echoes of the "it's usually subtext", yay I have an excuse to beat up Sherlock scene in SIB.

I have issues with someone thinking that fists are the best way to address relationship problems. I know that I'm seeing this from a female perspective and that some men tumble around instead of talking about their problems, but these altercations are quite one sided (and, yes, I know that Sherlock started the fight in SIB, but dang did John escalate it...).

(Unfortunately, I'm coming across as a John hater, which is absolutely not the case. I love his character, but don't like everything he does. That just makes him an exceptionally well-rounded and well-written character.

BTW, I firmly believe that Sherlock is saying that he knows he needs to say, play acting being 'normal' on the emotional spectrum, so to speak, in the TSOT speech, but his words are not emotionally resonating with him. Look at Greg in that scene. Everyone is welling up, but Greg, who has known him the longest, is not in the least bit moved. He can see what Sherlock is doing and won't let himself be manipulated. But like John, I am really impressed by the effort Sherlock is putting into saying the right thing. This speech is rather like his apology to Molly in SIB where he doesn't get the point of being nice, but realises that this isn't about him and that sometimes you have to do things for others. But I'm seriously digressing!

Mary

SusiGo wrote:

It seems I see Sherlock less negative than you do. After all he practically jumped into a fire to save John's life. We never hear John say thank you for that but assuming at once that his kidnapping was somehow connected to Sherlock. 

It was going to take time for John to let go of the emotional hell he was living for two years. You don't come back unscathed from watching your friend commit suicide right in front of your eyes and then realize that your friend faked it, leaving you alone to deal with such trauma. Even if he saved his life, it still doesn't heal the wounds John has suffered and needed to know why he needed to go through that.  I was hoping for a moment where we actually see John tell Sherlock what he had been through for two years thinking that he was dead. Sherlock could also tell John why he did what he did as well as tell John what he has been through. We could actually see two friends totally wounded by the aftermath of TRF. Friends who had to realized that they aren't the same people they were two years ago and need to get to know each other, restarting their friendship. At least, that was what I had hoped for. 


 

Do we really know that Sherlock is at the "not normal" end of the emotional spectrum? That he does not just suppress his feelings in order fully concentrate on his mind? To quote HoB: "I have always managed to distance myself from feelings." I regard it as a deliberate choice. And series 3 IMO shows this very suppression starting to crumble.  

One of the things that made me fall in love with the show is seeing someone, Sherlock, who reasons the way that I do when it comes to emotional/personal things. Whenever he does something that makes everyone go "what an ass!" I completely get what he's thinking. The scene in TSOT where Molly thinks he's accusing her of being a drunk? He was just showing that he's been listening to her. He thinks he's saying a nice thing and she gets it completely wrong.

What I'm seeing in season 3 is not so much his emotional walls dropping as his gaining some emotional maturity. His view of things haven't changed, but he's less self-centred and able to at least attempt to act appropriately.

Benedict has said that he plays Sherlock as being an aspie with sociopathic tendencies and that rings true with me. I'm certain we all project a little/lot of ourselves and our world views in our view of character motivations.

Mary

We're obviously not seeing Lestrade the same way. This is the guy who hugged the stuffing out of Sherlock in this episode. He tightens his grip and nuzzles Sherlock's head, Sherlock letting him, a scene which told me more about their back story and how much they mean to each other than words ever could.

It was amazing to me that Lestrade can love Sherlock so much and Sherlock be so blind to it, then we met Sherlock's parents and I saw that Sherlock is that way with everyone who tries to parent him and things made more sense.

So that face is Lestrade being very English and not showing emotion? Not buying it.

Mary
PS wow, that's not a flattering shot of Molly. Looks like she has a black eye!

SusiGo wrote:

This is not the place for discussing the best man speech so I will keep it short. For me it is one of the most beautiful pieces of dialogue I have heard/read in a long time. I am absolutely convinced that this is what Sherlock truly feels just because it is NOT what people usually say in this sort of speech. You do not berate yourself and lay open your feelings for the groom and show yourself in the worst possible light just to manipulate people. Morever, why should he manipulate anyone at all? 

And furthermore, this speech is for John, I don't see Sherlock manipulating John or anyone else in the room. When he makes the whole room cry and asks "Did I do it wrong?", that's as genuine as his emotions can get, in my opinion.
 

SolarSystem wrote:

And furthermore, this speech is for John, I don't see Sherlock manipulating John
 

Manipulate, with its negative connotations was definitely the wrong word to use. I firmly believe that he doesn't see the point of what he's doing, but that he knows it's important to John and goes through the motions of it. It is an incredible character growth scene and touching, no arguments there!

Mary