SolarSystem wrote:

.
To me it doesn't feel like a romantic relationship in the typical sense of the word either, but it feels like a friendship so deep and caring and full of love - and even if they don't share a bed, from my personal experience I would say that what they have together goes far deeper than what lots of couples in so-called romantic relationships share.

That is what I feel as well.
And, so far, to John, Sherlock is more important than his girlfriends

sj4iy wrote:

I've always felt that they feel like brothers.  Both of them have problems with their sibling and find a true brotherly relationship with each other.

Imo, brotherly relationship has its limits, and, as both of them have no good relationship with their sibling, I don't think they can empathise themselveswith such a relationship.

Btw, in canon, there is a picture, which I had posted in the other thread,
drawn by Paget, showing Holmes with his hand locked onto Watson's elbow as they 'strolled about together' .Do you think it's just common for friends to go like that in those days?

sj4iy wrote:

...but I have a friend whom I consider the little brother I never had.  Does that mean he and I had a sexual relationship?  Noooooo, not at all..

I don't know why my words got interpretted in that way  
Should friendship always be brotherly relationship? or does the absence of a brotherly relationship in a friendship mean the presence of a sexual relationship.?

Agape sounds pretty darn romantic to me!

Lets say Sherlock is asexual, wouldn't  his 'agape' with John (I'm eye rolling myself here don't worry!) be the equivalent of being in a long term couple type loving  relationship, like marriage? Having been married myself now 11 years, I would have to say that while sex is important a loving romantic relationship can exist very well without it. for someone who is most likely asexual, I imagine that is even more so the case.
Have tosay I find from Sherlock's persepctive, Johnlock is the real deal. I personally wonder a bit more about it from John's perspective.  I think the relationship with Sherlock os more confronting for him because it challenges what he thinks he wanted out of life- hemce all the denial, serial dating etc

Although this is an interesting discussion, sometimes I just forget about canon and logic and political correctness and ship Johnlock because they're just so cute and, come on, they want to kiss, everyone could see that! 

Yea.  *giggle*  What QE said. 

Sherlock and John's relationship reminds me a bit of my own life...

My husband had a very complicated mind (amongst other things, he suffered from a quite severe paranoid illness). He was very intelligent (high IQ) and interesting (I admired him a lot), but he had no social abilities. Most of the time, he was very tactless, sounded cold, childish, full of himself, even mean sometimes, looked like people were boring him to death and lost himself in his own world whenever he started to talk about his passions (medicinal and eatable plants, very expensive tea, Japanese culture and language, voice actors...) and needless to say that many people disliked him and few of them could stand him, let alone LIVE with him.

I managed to see the beautiful things he had buried inside him and that only those who were patient enough to "extract" them could end liking him. It took a lot of time. It wasn't easy everyday, and unfortunately, it all went very wrong in the end... because he realised he needed me more than I needed him... (it is quite a cruel thing to say, I admit. But it's a long story, so please don't judge. I made mistakes but he did too, but I'm not here to talk bad about someone who's dead...)

Anyway, I think John and Sherlock have quite a similar relationship.

No one can stand Sherlock, until John comes along. There is a chemistry between them, whatever we put under it (friendship, love...).

Sherlock is a pain, but John sees the good in him. He admires him when people usually tell him to piss off and that flatters Sherlock. He can see that behind Sherlock's cold mask, there is a good man, who could be even better, and who actually gets better with John around because John is like a 'barometer' to him, and doesn't hesitate to scold him if he does something wrong. Sherlock can complain about that, he actually needs someone to do this for him (just like I think that deep inside, he likes Mycroft treating him as a child), otherwise he wouldn't ask John's opinion or approvement ("Not good?"). John is patient and can stand Sherlock's habits and way of acting when most people would be fed up within 24 hours.

On the other hand, Sherlock, as much as he'd probably hate to admit it, is very attached to John. I think that is the closest thing to love he has ever felt (that doesn't necesseraly imply sexual desire and all. Like I said before, I think John loves him to bits but as a friend, and I think Sherlock loves him "full stop", and I'd like to think that if ever he once felt like experiencing something else than platonic love, it could only be with John, but that's only how I see it). John is not 'extraordinary'. I mean, he's your average man. But if some other people can understand Sherlock and appreciate him to different extents (I think of Mycroft and Lestrade there), John is the only one who can stand him, and he is actually the only one Sherlock can stand too.

John could find himself a girlfriend. He is sweet, caring, funny when he wants to... That wouldn't be a problem (so far, his last relationships went all wrong mostly because of Sherlock: because Sherlock always interferes --ie. John's date with Sarah, Sherlock calling Jeanette Sarah, on purpose I suspect-- or because Sherlock always comes first for John --ie when he 'abandons' Jeanette at Christmas to look after Sherlock. Jeanette herself can see that she will always come second to Sherlock. The problem is not John himself) but he'd never find someone who would need him, even "depends" on him, as much as Sherlock does.

And believe me, there is something so enriching, so warm, so flattering in knowing you can see things in someone that no one else sees, that someone needs you: he doesn't need anyone, no, he needs YOU, in realising that person gets better with us around, knowing you are the only one he truly cares about... It makes you feel special.

John is not extraordinary but he is extraordinary to Sherlock. John is "average", but he is "special" to Sherlock. And I think John really needs to feel "special". Besides, John had a dull life. He was bored to death and Sherlock was exactly what he needed in his life. He would probably get bored with a "normal girlfriend", "normal life"...  They complete each other.

That's why I think they are each other's missing puzzle piece and are perfect together.

 

Last edited by Punch me in the face (October 5, 2013 5:54 am)

I agree too and thank you.
Only one problem with the latter part of your analysis.
In The Canon:  John marries.

Thank you

Besley: yeah i know he does.  That's why i said in the end John doesn't need Sherlock as much as sherlock needs him and, as much as I love writing and reading Johnlock fanfictions, that's also why I don't think it is canon (even though i know a gay man who once got married for years and had kids before coming out, I really don't think it could be the case for John) but I still like to think that the theory of Sherlock being in love with John could be canon (but in a platonic way -so not necessarily implying physical desire- and without Sherlock realising it is love) could be true (note I say "could be", not "is"). He sounds quite bitter and desperate at the end of The Sign of Four, he can't bring himself to congratulate John on his future wedding and the last line of the book is pretty sad I think.

And then ACD must have realised he couldn't write sherlock without john because he brings him back to the front scene in Scandal in bohemia and then makes him move back to baker street.

That was lovely Punch.  Well said.