BBC Sherlock Fan Forum - Serving Sherlockians since February 2012 » Free Rants

Schmiezi · October 2, 2015 4:16 am

mrshouse wrote:
What the hell is wrong with Sankt Augustin, Schmiezi??

Just one example: HUMA. (Well, I know there is some construction going on right now but it seems like it won't be an improvement to the eye.)

I am sure that you can come to love Augustin when you live in Hangelar or Birlinghoven, but for me it was Niederpleis, one of the tower blocks and that just didn't work.

This Is The Phantom Lady · October 2, 2015 8:56 am

I suck at being the strong one in the relationship right now... I am so scared of messing up and saying something wrong.

The doctors have just discovered that my brain damaged boyfriend has a messed up nerve that makes his brain overactive at night, meaning he hasn't actually slept for 15 years...
He's been prescribed some medicine and eventually will have to undergo even more brain surgery.

He's really scared of the pills even (we're trying to ignore the surgery for now... that is going to be hell!) He's scared of taking those, scared of side effects etc. and it's stressing him so bad.
The other night he asked me to look up the medicine and said all panicky "You know stuff!!!" Okay yes, I'm trained as a healthcare service secretary and have worked at a hospital... and have since I was a kid had an obsession with the workings of the human brian... but no, I don't know 'stuff'.

I did read up about the pills and made my judgement about the side effects that worried him, they were in the 'rare' category...

I am being strong for him, helping him through it the best I can... I am giving him advice, being professional and also being the funny goofy girlfriend like always.

But inside I'm crumbling. I'm so scared I'll give him wrong advice.

Last night he wanted to take the first of the tablets, I had told him over and over again to wait until he was ready, to take control and not force himself to rush into it. Well... he rushed. I just started crying when he told me that he did it for me (luckily he couldn't see my face). He thinks I deserve a more healthy version of himself and that's why he wanted to take it so soon. He even confessed that he had an irrational fear that if it took him too long to get better that I would leave him.

GAH. He's the best thing that ever happened to me, and this will not make me leave. I do obviously want him to get better, but not like that.

I'm just... I'm not as strong as I seem.

Yitzock · October 2, 2015 3:07 pm

You don't need to be strong all the time. I know you're afraid of giving him the wrong advice and of him rushing into the medication, but it is ultimately his choice about his own body and you did the best you could to give him advice and I think that's what really matters. You did the best you could. I can tell that this is hard for you, but I think you're doing better than a lot of people would in the same situation.

This Is The Phantom Lady · October 3, 2015 5:57 pm

Thank you Yitzock. It just adds to the 'pain' that he's so far away and I can't physically be there for him...

Oh, and I guess I do have to admit I have very protruding cheekbones, meh.
Yesterday I took a spectacular fall at my mum's place... I was running around on sockfeet and mum had moved a mat from the washroom... I didn't notice as I had my hands full; holding pillow, a (thankfully) empty coffee cup and my phone... I did a full spin that ended up with me banging my face full force into the wall. Somehow both phone and cup survived the fall onto hard glaced tiles... but my face and leg was not so lucky.

My face is getting more and more sore the more time that passes and I'm worried I'll end up with a bad bruise on my cheek and brow. (yes, I worry more about looks than pain apparently)...

On the bright side it didn't hurt my spine or hip, I honestly have no idea how! I've got chronic pains there and simple things like washing dishes makes it hurt like hell.

I wish someone had taped it though, I have a feeling it must have looked very funny!

JP · October 3, 2015 6:22 pm

Phantom Lady, as someone who went trough long time of "trying out", I can tell you that side effects of medicaments changing brain's chemistry (I'm just assuming that's what your friend should take) might be sometimes scary, but they are, in the majority of cases, not permanent. Or have you read something contrary?

This Is The Phantom Lady · October 3, 2015 6:48 pm

Thank you JP, that reassures me even more!

The tablets he has been given are mild anti anxiety. The side effects that stresses him most are very rare, and to my knowledge should stop when he stops taking the meds.

mrshouse · October 3, 2015 6:49 pm

Ouch
Get well soon, Phantom. Not that I'm an expert at homeopathy but Arnica is supposed to help with bruises. And considering your chronic pain I guess you have enough pain killers at hand.

Yitzock · October 3, 2015 9:32 pm

Same sentiment from me. That sounds like it would have hurt quite a bit! I hope that if you get any bruises that they are not too sore for too long.

Whisky · October 5, 2015 3:02 am

"Sorry didn't know it was your birthday, facebook always told me but you left facebook, so I didn't know."

"Yeah sorry but you know we organize these things on WhatsApp and you don't have it" - "Could you send SMS or email to me instead?" - "No, that's really too much effort."

Classic.
Think I'll just "unfriend" them in real life, right?
I'm asking myself if I'm overreacting, getting so annoyed by stuff like that, but honestly, that's just not cool.

Last edited by Whisky (October 5, 2015 3:06 am)

This Is The Phantom Lady · October 5, 2015 10:54 am

People can be so lazy, ugh, Wisky. I can completely understand why that would annoy you!!

This Is The Phantom Lady · October 8, 2015 12:00 pm

GAH!

I feel like the worlds worst friend and girlfriend right now.

They discovered some swolen scar tissue on my boyfriend's head after all his surgeries and on Monday he's going in to have them removed... he's going to be awake under the procedure so it's not that 'serious'...

On Monday it's been planned for a very long time that I'm going with my best friend when she's getting a tattoo done, that will take most of the day. She has some mental challenges and she needs someone to be there with her... and it's not good to cancel plans with her, she needs things to stay as constant as possible.

I can't be there for him when he goes to the surgery in the afternoon... but I could have been there in the morning before... but my friend has her appointment at 10am, and I'm going to her place to sleep from Sunday.

I'll be trying to message him on the phone and still hold my friend's hand and be there... but no matter what, I can't be there 100% for both!

Last edited by This Is The Phantom Lady (October 8, 2015 12:08 pm)

Lilythiell · October 11, 2015 9:07 pm

Swollen tissue? You're right, if he's awake while they remove them it can't be that serious (but he should have check-ups for those regularly, I think). Do you know if they're going to do a biopsy or anything, see what it is?
Fingers crossed everything goes well!
As for your friend, I think it rather shows that you are an excellent friend if you're unwilling to cancel plans with her! You shouldn't feel bad for not being able to be there 100% for both your boyfriend and your friend, on the contrary I think it shows how good a friend you are -and how good a girlfriend you are, too, because if you could have, you would have cancelled plans with her!
Let us know how everything goes! (Oh, by the way, how did your audition go? )

As for me, I think my computer is not in an excellent shape -there's no sound on it anymore. It's probably nothing, but still, it is a pain, means I will have to run the antivirus programme and it always takes up such a long time...
Still, can't hurt that I do that once in a while, I know I shouldn't wait for a problem to be there, but...I can be so lazy sometimes...especially when it comes to techs...
Oh, and no sound on the computer + family gathering means no Doctor Who for me (I'm dying to know what happened in last night's episode!), nor Downton Abbey...at least I was able to watch the rugby match...!

Yitzock · October 12, 2015 10:26 pm

I'm having an annoyance with my computer as well. I was using it on Sunday (when I last posted to the forum after a brief visit), and then I closed Chrome. I then remembered something else I needed to do on the Internet and tried opening Chrome again...and since then Chrome has refused to open. And IE was being a pain (and I don't like it much anyway). So now I'm using Firefox and I might visit the IT help people at school this week if I have time, but it's frustrating because I had a lot of sites to log me in automatically and bookmarks which I had to wait to have imported to this browser. I like Chrome better but this is OK for now. Still annoying that it wouldn't work anymore since I have no idea what caused it to happen. I ran a quick virus scan and it deleted tracking cookies and didn't find any viruses...I might do a full scan later, but that takes some time and will run down my battery. This is the first real problem I've had with this computer.

EDIT: inexplicably, I was able to open Chrome just now. I will have to see if this continues or not...

Last edited by Yitzock (October 12, 2015 11:06 pm)

Schmiezi · October 13, 2015 5:30 am

Not much of a help but: I use Firefox all the time and am extremely happy with it. Maybe life just wated to give you a hint.

SusiGo · October 13, 2015 8:32 am

I have been using Opera for some time and I am quite satisfied.

Yitzock · October 13, 2015 1:40 pm

Thanks for the suggestions, but Chrome is working again (though I have no idea why it stopped working and then started again).

This Is The Phantom Lady · October 13, 2015 9:06 pm

Sorry about all the internet issues, ugh that sucks!

Today has been one of those days... no, correction. Today is one of those days!

My boyfriend isn't feeling too well after his operation last night... he should have stayed home in bed rather than going to work so he could talk to me...

The neighbour is still, after weeks, playing the loud bassy pumping music... I even tried hanging a note and a set of headphones on the wall hoping he'd get the hint... the note was pretty nice, asuming that they didn't know that their music was actually that loud.
The music has only gotten louder since... and since it's fall break here I can't stop it.
The only way I can watch TV is to turn it up and plug my good ear and listen to the TV with the ear I'm almost deaf on, because then I can't hear the bass... lovely for my other neighbours!

While this music was driving me mad, absolutely stark raving mad my aunt called needing tech advice for her computer... I had to try to help her do some virus scan check thing over the phone with a program I don't know, and my aunt is clueless about technology... she doesn't even know what a 'window' is... I was about to scream several times.

I found a lasagna in my freezer and heated it... I was so stressed I didn't remember it had to cool down, so I burned my tongue, instinctively dropped the fork and scalded my leg with the hot pasta.

The music is still going strong, and it's 11pm, and I'm so tired... I want to sleep! But I can't as long as this is going on.

*bangs her head into the wall in frustration*

Whisky · October 13, 2015 11:41 pm

I'm always one for good neighbourhood, but if it's affecting yiu so much you should make your point I think. Maybe talk to them in person?

I have the first sleepness night, feeling depressed. I'm so not up for stress and winter. So annoyed by this bunch of well-known feelings, and totally frustrated. I will fight so hard this time. So done with these loads of useless thoughts. Totally drugging me to sleep now. Done with playing nice

This Is The Phantom Lady · October 14, 2015 6:24 am

I hope you feel better soon Wiskey! Good thing you want to fight it!

I still can't tell which flat it's coming from... and my social anxiety has gotten a lot worse... so its not that easy

I just got off the phone with one of my doctors, I wanted a stronger dose of the ibuprofen I take for my horrid back and hip pain... the doctor did do it, but he warned me I couldn't take them for too long and listed some very serious side effects... Well... I've been on the meds for almost 2 years now.
And honestly, what's next step if I can't have these when my back hurts this bad when I'm on my meds?? I already top them up with strong tramadol.

And once again... "maybe we should have a look at you and see if we can do something else". Oh, how many times have I been told that?? And when I show up "ah, just go for some more walks and do some gentle exersises to strengthen your back muscles some more and we'll look at it later".

Last edited by This Is The Phantom Lady (October 14, 2015 6:27 am)

Titania · October 15, 2015 6:41 pm

I need to scream, to cry and I'm sorry but I'm doing it here on my favourite forum: tonight I stayed with a favourite aunt of mine, one I was really close to, while she had an heart attack.... she didn't survive it and I'm not sure it has really sunk into that I will never see her again. She died 3 hours ago and i'm in limbo right now
Life sucks right now