Schmiezi wrote:

This is a sentence I had to correct today in grade 9:

"If we want to have zero clock reinfeiern something."

I forgot to mention:
It was supposed to mean "We wanted to party on after midnight."

Two TVs in the house. Cannot get to watch anything on either as the men have monopolised both! That is all. 

Well that was a stupid Christmas eve. 

I had looked forward to a calm and peaceful christmas with my small closest family... now that my aunt was over her health scare she was so helpful and everything worked out... for once we were going to have a Christmas without a fight. 

Apparently I have missed out on how sick one of my family members is. I knew she had cancer but they always spoke about it as if it was curable and no big deal.
Today, of all days I find out she's in the final stages... she's at the end of her last chemo therapy  and there is just no hope. 

I already lost half of my family to that effing stupid thing over a couple of years... I just can't. 

I had to pretend to enjoy Christmas, but every second I was alone the tears just came... those are the tears I really hate. I couldn't let them know how hard this hit me. 

Thank you. You managed to make me of all people hate Christmas. 

I don't really know what happened... Mum and I survived Christmas with me living at home for several days... New Years apparently got too much...

I was celebrating the new year with my mum and aunt because mum needed help with the dog. Poor Micky is terrified of the fireworks and needed to be doped.
Everything went wrong, things were dropped, the dog ate stuff, and well... just a lot of bad luck. Through all of it, and also through the Christmas hols I have helped mum, because I knew her shoulder was bad and she was in a lot of pain which ske kept reminding me of. 

This morning when I was about to leave and have my aunt drive me home mum and I got into a major fight...

Thing is, I have been in a lot of pain too, but because I was so determined to make an effort to have a Christmas without a fight I shut up about it and didn't hold back... resulting in me barely being able to sleep at night from severe pains... 
This morning I was dragging my suitcase down the stairs and I tried so hard not to show the pain I was in from the weight of the thing. Mum comes to close the hatch when I am trying to slow my breathing and apparently I forgot to remove my advent calender and she tells me to do that right away. I can barely talk from the pain I am in and tell her "I can't right now" but before I can finish the sentence with "give me a minute and I will" she throws a fit calling me lazy and what not...

I am just as bad as her... she can really get my temper out of control and I guess I ended up screaming at her. The thing is... we're back to her thinking only she has pains and it hurts because it reminds me of growing up thinking she didn't care about me.

It escalated when she closed the door behind her and I couldn't breathe (panic attack...) I told her I wasn't sure I wanted to see her in the new year.

I know it's a terrible mistake... but I'm not sure I want to face her for a long time... I forgave her for so many things, and honestly I am the only one who works on making things work between us. Of course I was a difficult child but there is nothing that can make me forgive the things she did to me as a kid 

I'm shocked by the attack in Paris, we lost some very good people (Cabu, Wolinski, Charb, Tignous, Bernard Maris...) 12 absurd and horrible deaths and more than 10 injured... I have no word for this

Islamist scum...they need stopping.
Infact ANY group that use terror.

Last edited by besleybean (January 7, 2015 6:14 pm)

I am so sorry for your loss, a loss for us all.

I´m just watching a special about it, horrible!! 

Terrible. 

it's a terrible situation Phantom.... hugs