A good cup of tea, dear? Or rather a Port? (I know it's early...) Big hug, if you want, too   

Big hug then, for a worn-out mrshouse at night shift 
I hope it will be a rather peaceful one, dear.

Thank you, dear. That will keep my head up during weekend 

mrshouse wrote:

Thank you, dear, a hug is always lovely.
Not allowed port, though, because....tatatata!!! guess what...it's night shift for me!!!

 
*snuggles*

I hope the situation gets better for you mrshouse! Ugh! Take care of yourself and do what you can not to burn your candle at both ends!


My only complaint is that I managed to get my first hangover in my life... but considering I've been far more drunk than I was last night and always woke up fine I shouldn't complain. At least this is pain from one of the most fun nights in my life! 
Halloween with art people. oh my! 

That´s really bad, Phantom.. seeing a person you love struggle with depression is just horrible. I´ve been in a similar place with an ex.
From bitter experience I can just wholeheartily support what your co-worker said - don´t try to become his therapist! It never works anyway with your partner (I guess there are plenty of psychological reasons why you react different to things your spouse or family says than if it comes from a professional?), it will inevitably drag you down and makes for a really unhealthy relationship dynamic. I´ve seen a few relationships where one partner tried to be the other´s therapist, and it never turned out well.. not once. You did what you could when you helped him start therapy. You can still be there for him, but I strongly advice to establish borders and don´t allow yourself or your nursing gene to guilt you into overstepping them - if you want to really help you have to avoid becoming co-dependent at all costs, even if it seems cruel at times. That´s just my personal experience and as such not comprehensive - but there are self-help forums for partners or familiy members of depressed people, maybe you can get some competent help there..((hugs))

Last edited by Zatoichi (November 5, 2014 6:38 am)

Big hug from me, as well, Phantom. But you have to think of yourself and stay sane. I don't have very much experience with depression TBH. But try to keep a little distance, that does not have to say you break contact.

BB, I wish all the best for your daughter, that is terrible. 




Thanks all of you, I have already taken your advice to heart. It would be easier to just leave him alone until he has gone through therapy... but that would be so cruel, he doesn't really have many friends because of his disability etc..

His issues are deeper than depression actually, which is why I 'forced' him to see a therapist... he has PTSD... 

It's a bit too easy to fall into the therapist role... the thing is, I've suffered from depression myself since I was a little girl and the past 10 years lived with PTSD. I only saw a therapist last year and wasn't able to open up about my PTSD... so I've been doing a lot of selfhelp.

But this is just too much for me... all my life I have helped people with depression online, something about me makes people open up about things they can't tell anyone. 

And honestly... when I told him to see a therapist I said it in anger, I was so angry and hurt and never wanted to see him again... I care so much, but I hate that I care... 
He gave me so much hope and took it away. I know that was because he is ill... but all he had to do was stick to the truth and not make promises about a future 

But I am so proud that he is doing this, going through therapy... and it sounds selfish, but it actually feels good to hear him say that he is fighting to get better; for me. I am used to people not giving a damn about me. 

Hopefully it will change... and today he actually made me smile and blush a few times when checking my phone during the break and my co-workers asked me if I had a new guy in my life... 

 

Last edited by This Is The Phantom Lady (November 5, 2014 4:53 pm)

The saga continues


*Play Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold"*

I was really settling into being his friend for the rest of my life... despite the fact that I will always love him... but being his friend seems like an amazing thing! and well if we had some fun once in a while that was fine with me too...

Today during our daily talk I mentioned to him how much him being a friend means to me, how happy I was. And what does he say?
"You're so much more than a friend you know"

What the hell does that even mean? 

Zatoichi wrote:

Dear child, 4.30 is not an acceptable time to get up, I repeat, NOT acceptable!

Absolutely right.